the good fight: when winning doesn't matter

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In every relationship I have been in, competitiveness has been fully present--like when my co-worker and I dated and got promoted at the same time, or when my current boyfriend (whom I met when I bought a ping-pong table from him off craigslist) and I played our first game on said table and my roommate had to leave the room because things got so heated between us. Needless to say, I like to win, and I tend to be drawn to people who share that quality--I think drive and motivation are attractive, and when someone leaves it all on the floor--or the ping pong table, as it were--it shows passion. 

Of course, this type of zeal can backfire, and in the case of yours truly, become wildly unattractive. Like the first time bf and I played darts and I overheard him tell his friend he was "whipping my butt", after which I became infuriated and would not talk to him. Luckily, we moved on rather quickly, but this was the first small dose of me realizing just because I wouldn't always be right, didn't mean I wasn't happy. When I was single, and would go on dates, things would start to progress and if the guy I was seeing disagreed with me on a point, or made me upset about something minor, my first instinct was to immediately move on. But after dating someone for the better part of two years, you learn to pick your battles. It's a funny thing, learning to fight with someone--instead of your ultimate goal being your pride, it switches to progressing the relationship further. 
This is easier said than done (duh), but for me, it's definitely a conscious thought-process, and one that helps. I believe a healthy amount of disagreements are good for a relationship--I think on some level, if it's productive, it shows passion and honesty, and a willingness to make the partnership better. After all, in many cases, arguments spring from one side wanting the other to understand where he or she is coming from, which usually isn't a bad thing. The more you gain perspective on each other, the (hopefully) closer you'll be. 
And after all is said and done, there's nothing like making up. 

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