Last week, after a few cocktails, I happily announced to my boyfriend that one of his roles in the relationship is to make us our dinners. Don't get me wrong, when I have time, I love cooking, and for a long time before I met him, I was perfectly capable of finding a way to make dinner for myself (takeout menus aside!), but one of the nicest surprises for me when we started dating was how regularly he cooked for himself every night. I began to appreciate shopping to plan for weekly meals and sitting down at night to the type of comfort food I grew up with--simple, healthy, balanced, and usually, if I was lucky, involving some sort of cheese. Of course, he then asked what I thought my roles were to which I proudly replied "doing our laundry and making the apartment look nice!" which is funny because we don't live together and as a result, his own apartment suffers from not being there as much.
However, part of me in my foggy state was sincere--I did think that was a valuable part to play, and while these roles shift from month to month, I've found the important thing is to make sure each person is doing his or her part to carry the weight they can. Some couples I know have a specific driver--and I admit, often my boyfriend is the one to drive on long trips--while it's understood that others are the trash removers while their partners are the grocery getters.One of the best parts about relationship roles is the surprising switch that sometimes happens, and even more importantly, how one person can take on multiple roles if the other is going through a rough patch. Do you have a specific role in your relationship, even if it's never been discussed?
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