I am terrified to set people up--I don't like assuming people want to date someone without them asking me. Instead, if I somehow make a connection that two people would hit it off, I try to get them both in a group setting and see what happens. For me, telling them both that it's a set-up somehow forces the relationship to a breaking point before they have even met--there is unspoken pressure to make a decision *that night **whether this person could be a romantic match. No expectations equals no disappointment--it's just another night with a group of people hanging out.
Which is why it's funny that two couples I have introduced to each other are happy to this day, and both of them were totally unintentional matches by me. My friend Justin (above), who makes a mean bowl of ramen (along with other, classier culinary dishes) is a rare gem--loyal, sharply funny, and a little bit of an old-school romantic. And that combination is part of the reason it's embarrassing to admit when my catch of a friend Christina asked which boys I thought she would be good with, he didn't come first to mind. Luckily the one talked up to her (who is a perfectly good guy) was a little too intoxicated the night they met and Justin (who was also there that night) and his charms spoke for himself. I would love to take credit for their happy coupling--they just moved in together two months ago!--but in reality, all it took was getting them both in the same room. And the same room theory is all it took to get my best friend Monica to meet her now-husband. While celebrating her 21st birthday at her school, I ran into a guy who had transferred from my college. Monica walked up during our conversation, I introduced them, he hung out with us and I forgot about the whole thing. Five months later, they started dating and five years later they're still happily married, I would love to say I was the major instigator in both of these relationships, but in reality, I was just there at the right time to connect them. At the end of the day, setting someone up is just like any other advice you give a friend--people are giong to hear what they want to hear and make decisions when they're ready; not when you think they should be. I know some people who met on a blind date, fell in love and are married to this day. For them, the timing was perfect and they have their friend to thank. Others met, didn't hit it off, became friends and eventually ended up together--or never spoke again. It might not make sense to you at the time, but sometimes the picture turns out different than the one you see from your view.
How about you guys? Have you ever successfully--or not so much--set two people up? Have you been set up yourself? My set up tales are another post for another day, but I have some doozies!