Tonight my old college roommate Julia and I saw Sex and the City 2, the first true Oscar-contender of the season. (I promise the rest of this article will be sincere). The movie, while not afraid to cross several lines of class vs. crass, once again (in an ode to the series) raised some honest questions about relationships and what it means to grow and change as a person side-by-side with someone else--especially when one or more of the people are dealing with the balance of being single so long with being a part of a committed relationship. But I digress, because that's another column for another night. What was interesting is the conversation we had after the show--mainly centering about how our ideas of love and what is romantic changes as we grow into our relationships, and in all honesty, as we grow up.
For example, there are things I believe I will eternally find romantic. Rain, no matter whether it is cold, warm, heavy or light, will always hurt my heart a little bit--in a good way. Boys hold umbrellas over girls' heads in the rain, a bed is twice as cozy with someone with distant thunder and tapping of rain on the window, and oh by the way, have you heard of a little movie called The Notebook? But other things have changed for me as I have grown into a relationship, and simply as I grown into different life stages (while having drunken fraternity boys sing their "sweetheart" song in college used to make me swoon, this, thankfully for everyone, will not cut it anymore).
While dancing with my boyfriend this weekend at the wedding, we got to talking about what is attractive after you've been dating for a long time. For me, it's the small, but thoughtful gestures, the ones that show a guy is thinking about someone else as well as himself. That's not a slam at guys--trust me. As someone who loved being single, I am the first to admit, thinking of someone else along with yourself takes effort, but that's also what makes it worth it. For example, buying me apple pie after a 14-hour day at work, albeit from McDonald's, might be exactly what I need. Not every gesture needs to be grandiose and expensive.
In my opinion, it's those little moments that make up the minutiae of a relationship, and help balance out the larger, more spot-light grabbing memories. Don't get me wrong, boys, those moments are important too. But for me, one of my favorite parts of seeing my friend Megan get married this weekend was the note Jon gave to her right before the ceremony. Yes, he also gave her a seriously amazing ring and promised to love her for eternity in front of all of their loved ones. But just for a moment, before the ceremony, without him even in the room, it was just him reminding her of why she was getting the ring in the first place.
What is your idea of romance? Have you found you fall in love for different reasons as you continue to progress into a relationship? What's your favorite part of a wedding?