Is Nicolas Cage a real-life vampire?

Vampires have been all the rage in pop culture over the past few years. Not being a huge vampire fanatic myself, even I have Vampire Diaries recorded on my DVR every week.

These supernatural creatures have been sensationalized, and rightly so, they're complete bad-asses (unless they sparkle...that's not bad-ass at all, that's just silly). Could these immortals actually exist?

A Civil War-era photo has surfaced on eBay, and the man in the photo bares a striking resemblance to actor Nicolas Cage. The man's name is unknown, but he lived in Bristol, TN around the time of the Civil War. The eBay listing is titled "Nicolas Cage is a Vampire / Photo from 1870 / Tennessee," and the Buy It Now price was set at $1million. This listing has since been taken down, but I found a screen grab of it online.

Does this mean Nicolas Cage will never stop making movies? In a Zap 2 It article, some of the comments on the eBay listing were shared. When someone questioned why Nicolas Cage has been aging so terribly the last 10 years, the seller replied:

"My theory is that he allows himself to age to a certain point, maybe 70, 80 or so, then the actor 'Nicolas Cage' will 'die'... but in reality, the undead vampire 'Nicolas Cage' will have rejuvenated himself and appeared in some other part of the world, young again, and ready to start all over. From time to time somebody might mention to him that he bears a slight resemblance to the young version of that dead American actor, whose name they can't recall, but eventually, those occurrences will stop altogether."

This person has put a LOT of thought into this. I found this completely entertaining, and almost believable. What do you guys think?

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