Tag: transgender

What Lin Manuel Miranda, Listen to Your Mother, and my trans son have in common

What Lin Manuel Miranda, Listen to Your Mother, and my trans son have in common
Lin Manuel Miranda, Listen to Your Mother, and my trans son have absolutely nothing in common. Yet all three were in my dream last night, for a very good reason. In my dream, I was sitting in a balcony of our church, while my son and some of his friends played. Below us, on the... Read more »

10 things people want to know about my trans son

10 things people want to know about my trans son
I recently received a Voices of the Year for #Blogher17 and had the opportunity to present my essay on stage. Being visible provides me with a platform to educate others, but I realized that many of the same questions kept coming up. Obviously, I’ve written about nearly all of them at least once. And obviously,... Read more »

My Life in Ornaments (or why I can't seem to put a tree up or take it down without crying)

Every good story should start with a pickle. We hide ours on the Christmas tree every year. So the story goes (either from Woolworth or an old German tradition) the pickle must be the last thing to be hung on the tree, and the first child to find it wins an extra present. We inevitably end up hanging and re-hanging this pickle a dozen times the first day, at least, but it keeps the kids amused.
I have a real problem. For the past two years, I seem unable to put my Christmas tree up or take it down, without dissolving into a puddle of emotions. Last year, it happened while I unpacked all the ornaments to hang on the Christmas tree. All the crinkled tissue wreaths and Santa hand prints, with... Read more »
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How I told my friends I was trans: a graphic novel by Jake Valentine

I am born and the doctor says, "It's a girl!"
Today is my trans son’s second anniversary. Two years since his rather incredible and surprising transition story, where he publicly and socially transitioned to he/him pronouns and a name that suited his gender identity. For his anniversary gift this year, I’ve decided to let him tell his own story. In graphic novel. Okay, really more of... Read more »

Pamela Valentine reading "Welcome To My Holland"

Thumbnail image for 'Pamela Valentine reading "Welcome To My Holland"'
This year, I had the incredible honor of being a part of Listen to Your Mother St. Louis. Last year, in Chicago, I came out as the parent of a trans child. It transformed my life in so many ways. It gave me a voice, it gave me a platform to share my story, but... Read more »

Thanks for a wonderful first year!

Thanks for a wonderful first year!
It’s been a whole year! Can you believe it? It feels like just yesterday that I introduced myself to the world as Affirmed Mom. I had very little support at that time in my life and less knowledge. I made mistakes, and I learned from them over the next couple months. I learned how to... Read more »
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My son's wedding dress

My son's wedding dress
I saw the dress my son wore on my wedding day, on the prettiest little girl with long curly brown hair, not much younger than he is now. That could have been him. I don’t think about it, not when I’m awake. Not when I’m in control and things are good and we’re happy and... Read more »

An open letter to any parent who can't imagine raising a trans kid

An open letter to any parent who can't imagine raising a trans kid
I meet you all the time. You’re a little awkward, a little unsure, but you approach me anyway. Sometimes you’re the mom clutching the hands of children, less often the dad. Maybe you’re a teacher or a nurse or a grandmother. Maybe you know a child at your kids’ school, maybe he was in the... Read more »

Who will raise my children if I die?

Who will raise my children if I die?
As 2016 rapidly approaches, I find myself faced with a monumental choice, in a year of truly life changing choices. Let me rewind. Robert Frost once eloquently described two roads diverging in a yellow wood, and how he longed to take them both. He stood at the crossroads, first looking down one road as far... Read more »
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Happy Anniversary, Jake

Happy Anniversary, Jake
A year ago today, I asked my son to come along to his second grade Parent Teacher Conferences. He was, at that time, using female pronouns and only going by Jake at home. He agreed.  I asked him if there was anything at all he wanted to discuss. His name. I was surprised. For a... Read more »