Tag: motherhood

What Lin Manuel Miranda, Listen to Your Mother, and my trans son have in common

What Lin Manuel Miranda, Listen to Your Mother, and my trans son have in common
Lin Manuel Miranda, Listen to Your Mother, and my trans son have absolutely nothing in common. Yet all three were in my dream last night, for a very good reason. In my dream, I was sitting in a balcony of our church, while my son and some of his friends played. Below us, on the... Read more »

I am not the greatest mom in the world

I am not the greatest mom in the world
I am not the greatest mom in the world. I’m not seeking validation, I assure you. This is a statement of fact. Most moms would love to hear that phrase, and some moms deserve it. I hear it a lot. And I do not deserve it. At least, not for the reasons I’m hearing it.... Read more »

Our new wedding canvas is a tribute to my trans son

Our new wedding canvas is a tribute to my trans son
About a year and a half ago, I stood in front of several hundred people and shared the story of my son. My trans son. That story began with meeting my husband, our unexpected pregnancy, and our marriage. On our wedding day, my son was a month shy of two years old. He had little... Read more »
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Pamela Valentine reading "Welcome To My Holland"

Thumbnail image for 'Pamela Valentine reading "Welcome To My Holland"'
This year, I had the incredible honor of being a part of Listen to Your Mother St. Louis. Last year, in Chicago, I came out as the parent of a trans child. It transformed my life in so many ways. It gave me a voice, it gave me a platform to share my story, but... Read more »

I'm having nightmares about my son going to sleepaway camp

I'm having nightmares about my son going to sleepaway camp
Last night, I dreamt of drowning in the ocean. It didn’t start with drowning, but with cooking. Dinner, to be more precise, with an older version of my son. In my dream, we were chopping and prepping for a meal, just like we often do. He asked questions about ingredients, we laughed over silly food... Read more »

Thanks for a wonderful first year!

Thanks for a wonderful first year!
It’s been a whole year! Can you believe it? It feels like just yesterday that I introduced myself to the world as Affirmed Mom. I had very little support at that time in my life and less knowledge. I made mistakes, and I learned from them over the next couple months. I learned how to... Read more »
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My son's wedding dress

My son's wedding dress
I saw the dress my son wore on my wedding day, on the prettiest little girl with long curly brown hair, not much younger than he is now. That could have been him. I don’t think about it, not when I’m awake. Not when I’m in control and things are good and we’re happy and... Read more »

An open letter to any parent who can't imagine raising a trans kid

An open letter to any parent who can't imagine raising a trans kid
I meet you all the time. You’re a little awkward, a little unsure, but you approach me anyway. Sometimes you’re the mom clutching the hands of children, less often the dad. Maybe you’re a teacher or a nurse or a grandmother. Maybe you know a child at your kids’ school, maybe he was in the... Read more »

A first date with Listen to Your Mother St. Louis

A first date with Listen to Your Mother St. Louis
It’s a little bit like a first date, meeting a cast for the first time. I remember the same butterflies in my stomach, the same giddy, anxious, excited feeling as LTYM Chicago 2015. Except unlike a first date, where all you have is small talk and googly eyes and a thin façade of the person... Read more »
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Donna Day 2016: What it means to mourn a child

Donna Day 2016: What it means to mourn a child
There are words of comfort we give to each other, in the community of parents of transgender children. You have to let yourself grieve. It’s a process. It’s okay to mourn your child. How many times had I done that? How many times had some careless gesture or word caused my whole world to come... Read more »