Dominicks Closing Sale Looks Like The Apocalypse

Have you ever wondered what it would be like in a Post-Apocalyptic world? Well, sci-fi fantasists need to look no further than any Chicagoland Dominicks closing sale.

With area stores preparing to close, Dominicks locations have priced their stock at 30% of liquor and 50% off everything else, except meat and produce. Here's an idea of what that looks like:

Dominicks grocery stores look like the I Am Legend movie set.

Dominicks stores look like a ghost town/famine/I Am Legend/zombie movie set.

Now, I'd like to say that I didn't join in the mayhem, but I think this marks the first time I have ever used a shopping cart in Chicago. Let's just say that I made it RAIN in the ethnic foods aisle. Cans of stuffed cabbage rolls? Grabbed it. Something written in Polish? Nabbed it.

Let's be honest...the ethic foods aisle was mostly the only one with food still on the shelves.

I also picked up some Patti Labelle BBQ sauce, a bunch of cans of green beans (the only canned vegetables left), some sort of crockpot spice mix packets, mincemeat and these gems:

Who the heck is Chaka? I mean...really? And it's called "Mmm Sauce."

Who the heck is Chaka? I mean...really? And it's called "Mmm Sauce."

So, I might have blacked out a little and just grabbed anything that looked strange in the name of 50% off and LAST ONE LEFT! I mean, who is Chaka? Doesn't he look EXACTLY like someone who would be so creative as to name their product "Mmm Sauce"? Like he maybe doesn't know a lot of words?

To fill you in, it turns out that Mustard Pickles are just cucumber pickles that are sliced like apple slices and skinned before they are brined. I guess it's something they do in Germany. They taste pretty delightful, but mostly because the pickle is the perfect food IMO.

That other stuff? I dunno. Tastes good...but that's a VERY  big jar to have of it.

To give you an accurate picture of what's left, the spice shelves appeared full, but on further inspection the only things left were dozens and dozens of little canisters of Alum. WHAT EVEN IS ALUM?!?!? I didn't buy it. I did put it in my cart for a few minutes though...

My cashier said she's been working for nine days straight, so there is also a bit of a "overrun with zombies" appeal to your trip. Maybe add some flickering lights and you'll have a full on I Am Legend "live the movie" experience to write home about.

This is how much I bought into the mob mentality. I live about five blocks from the grocery store and I don't drive. I purchased SIX bags FILLED with canned goods and had to carry that home. I stopped five times to rest like some sort of body builder dropping weights, the fact that my arms didn't pop out of their sockets is a Closing Sale Miracle and now I have crap ton of canned gravy.

Did you make a Dominicks bomb shelter haul?

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