After a date this weekend, dude and I were sending the usual "that was fun" post-date text messages. In the exchange, he said, "I think I broke a minimum of 8 things not to do or say on a first date. But I did the most important thing and that is be yourself. Which is why those 8 things had to happen." That really hit me. I liked it.
Looking back on the day, he was totally right. He did do that. He talked about exes. He told me some pretty embarrassing stories. And I was equally unfiltered. It was awesome. Let's be honest. Vodka helped.
It's not difficult to come across lists of things to do or not to do on a first date, but I'm going to condense that. The only thing you should do on a first date is be yourself. That's really it. I mean, be your favorite version of you, but don't wear a mask. Nothing is more impressive or a bigger turn on than someone who is unabashedly themselves.
I hate going out with someone who is clearly putting on a show. Usually they're trying to create "someone" that they know I'll like. I'd be lying if I said I haven't done that too. I'll pretend I'm into music I don't care about or some scene I know very little about. I do that when I don't think who I am is actually interesting enough. Eventually, we both get too tired of all this pretending and the truth comes out. That's a very silly way to go about things.
Dating is like a job interview. Yeah, you probably want the job. Regular income is nice! But you also want to find a job that fits with your goals, personality and lifestyle. If you lie about having ten years of powerpoint experience and the truth is that you've barely ever opened the app, you're going to find yourself very miserable, very quickly.
This particular guy is not my standard "type." He's the sort of alt-dude that makes me a little nervous. It's like the dating equivalent of my obsession with Shark Week. As a matter of fact, I didn't really think it was a date at first, because I didn't think he would ever look my way. I'm a tattoo free goodie two shoes dating blogger. I mean. I've got to be against his standard type too.
This sort of opposites attract scenario makes it even more important to be the person you want to be when getting to know someone new. Maybe they don't dig it and maybe they do. Allow yourself to figure it out.
In the end, we're both friendly, charismatic people. When you put two friendly, charismatic people together, it's going to be a fun time. There's a good chance that's all it is.
At dinner with my girls, they asked me if we'd made plans to see each other again. I told them that we hadn't and I wasn't worried about it. We'll see each other again. Whether it's planned or a chance run-in. And we'll be cool. I had a fun, totally surprising day. As for now, that's what I was focusing on.
I view these things like a novel. Who's in a hurry? As for chapter one, I'm into it.
I'm not in any rush to read the last few lines. He won't even read them at all.