A Bad Case Of Text Diarrhea

Well. Crap.

Has this ever happened to you?

You send one text. It's pretty flirtaciously direct, but it's totally okay and legit.

He responds with something totally normal, but not rrrrrrrreally the answer you wanted.

You say something a little snarky. You're kinda miffed. You're kinda trying to pretend like you're not. You're failing miserably at it.

So, you feel like you need to cover that up. And you text a quick joke-y emoticon laced quip.

But you're not sure it that worked or that it was clear that it was a joke.

So you feel like you need to send a quick text to explain it and underline that it was a joke.

But that totally backfires. Now, you feel like you look extra crazy.

So you feel like commenting on how awkward you just made it.

Which makes it really awkward.

Then you make a joke about jumping off a bridge.

Because that always ends well.

Before you know it, you've sent about ten texts. He's sent zero. You are a crazy person. This is now confirmed.

So, you delete the entire chat history, because Tomorrow You is not going to want to see what Right Now You has just expelled into the text world. Because, you know, if you forget about it, he will too. Because that's a thing that happens never.

You put your phone down, look up at your friends, who have been sitting with you at the bar unaware of the suicide mission you just executed, and all you can say is ".....I just did something bad."

Congratulations, Crazy Eyes, you're going to freeze to death this winter.

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Tags: drunk texts

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