I am a chronic overthinker. Here's the thing about overthinking. The more you think about something, the more likely it is that it will trip you up.
My 8th grade teacher told our class that, in multiple choice tests, the first answer you circle is probably right. Statistically, questions that were "reanswered" turned out to be wrong. The fact is that you probably know the answer. You just don't always know that you know.
Thought Catalog, one of my favorite places on the internet, published a piece called 19 Things You Need To Stop Overthinking. Two big ones on the list: 1) stop overthinking whether or not you love someone, and 2) stop overthinking whether the love you have is the one you want forever. This trips me up all the time. This weekend, a man I care about a lot asked me to consider becoming a serious couple with him. I thought I was going to projectile vomit and burst into hives from all my nerves, paranoia and internal conflict.
What I think is that I don't know what to say. The reality is that I know what I want to say, but I just don't know how to say it. Or, simply, I'm afraid to let myself say it.
Ana. Stop it.
You know exactly how you feel.
I had a dream a few nights ago where my friend and I were running away from a monster/killer. We found ourselves at a slide-bridge hybrid that looked like the bridge between the Art Institute's Modern Wing and Millennium Park. As we get there, we see a girl trying to slide down seated and facing forward. She falls off to her death. We pause for a second. My friend looks at me and says "you've gotta go head first." She turns around, lies on her back and slides down to safety.
In my dream, I was still too nervous. I pause a few seconds too long, turn around and see that there is now a big group of people trying to get down the slide. They make it clear that they don't want to let me go before them. And I back off immediately. I have to find another way to run away from the monster.
Here's what I took from that: 1) Just go for it. Keep the vision. Trust the process. The more you try to hold back or keep control, the more you are going to trip yourself up. 2) You've got to take your spot. Nobody is going to want to give up their position for you. Sometimes it's not about being polite. It's about being assertive.
I'm trying not to overthink on this post. So I'm just going to go ahead and press publish...