It looks like the Sriracha plant will be closing. Now is the appropriate time to panic.
According to the LA Times, about thirty residents of Irwindale, California have filed a suit against one of the best known Sriracha producers saying that the plant is affecting eyes, irritating throats, causing headachues and making too many people way too happy with otherwise crappy food.*
*Okay, they didn't say that last part. But. Come on!
If you think about it, I'm sure living close to the factory is pretty consistent with being pepper sprayed in the face. One time I tried to take my contacts out after handling a chile and I thought I was going to have to scoop my pupil out with a spoon. I know I wouldn't want someone squirting that wonderful sauce into my eyes. Okay, okay, Irwindale. That sounds pretty sucky.
If you think Twinkies became a hot commodity when the plant was shutdown, just wait. The black market for remaining bottles of Sriracha will put cocaine to shame. I'll sell off my neighbor's kids for the last bottle of this wonderful hot sauce. (Editor's Note: I won't really sell off any children. Calm down. But I might sell off their toys...)
Do you know how many poor girl raman noodle nights were made acceptable thanks to Sriracha?! That red rooster makes the most boring foods palatable. And by "palatable," I mean, "singe off your tastebuds with delicious fire that you'll probably regret later but, f*** it, live in the now."
There won't be anymore Sriracha, which clearly means the world is ending. NBD. I'm half hoping Orson Welles is behind this.
You can still make your own knock off version though with this Sriracha recipe from Serious Eats. Sure, it won't come with the tears of neighboring communities, which I'm sure adds to some of the original Sriracha's flavor, but it'll be there to burn your insides anytime you want it.
UPDATE: Good news, you guys! A California judge has denied the Irwindale's request. The factory will stay open!
Filed under: Uncategorized