Fast & Furious 6 Makes Me Feel Old

Fast & Furious 6 Makes Me Feel Old

I saw Fast & Furious about six times in the theater. When you are 16 years old and you have just gotten your driver's license, that movie has a way of defining you. Let me tell you: my best friend and I felt prrrrrretty tough revving the engine on my dad's giant boat of a classic convertible and scooting out of the mall parking lot in suburban Iowa. I had a raging crush on Vin Diesel's gravely voice and that scene where he lifts Michelle Rodriguez via her booty onto the car? Well...that's a visual that stays with you.

This weekend, I went to see Fast & Furious 6. I hadn't seen any of the other sequels and haven't watched Fast & Furious since it left theaters. As far as I was concerned, time had stood still. Turns out, it hasn't. Vin looks like he probably takes naps in the afternoon like my dad does and will someone PLEASE give Jordana Brewster a cookie? Her face is sunken in like the crypt keeper. Skeletons look older, not younger. Let's just be clear on that.

It's weird watching celebrities age, because it makes your own aging more apparent. Heart throbs turn into middle aged men with age spots and you notice as PYTs start getting face lifts and plumping their lips. I went to great lengths to avoid looking in mirrors yesterday.

As I'm now twenty days away from turning 29, I'm starting to realize it's not just me who's growing older. My whole generation is beginning to pass the baton to the new class. We still have a strong footing, but the new faces are taking hold. My best friend from high school, who I went to see Fast & Furious with repeatedly, has three kids now. My lifestyle might be very different, but the world is beginning to catch up!

There is one glimmer of hope that came out of the self-reflection embarrassingly brought on by Fast & Furious 6. Michelle Rodriguez has been preserved in amber or something. She is still a mega fox and total bad a$$. Obviously good genes are part of that equation. On the other side, she focuses on being strong, rather than skinny. She looks healthy. She works on being powerful and daring, which makes her super hot and beautiful. I want to be her.

As Anthony Bourdain once wrote, "They live with passion. To hell with everything else." That, my friends, is the secret to youth.


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