Today is Beyonce and Jay-Z 's wedding anniversary. Although notoriously quiet about their relationship, Global Grind posted an awesome timeline of their story together from the words of Jay and Bey. I've always looked at to the couple as an example of the ideal partnership, my personal "goal" relationship. Here are 5 ways to be the next Beyonce and Jay-Z:
- Develop a foundation: In the words of Drake, started from the bottom now we're here. You want to build a house? Don't start with the roof. It seems so exciting to move forward quickly, because we all want that happy feeling, the buzz from new firsts. Fights, tests and struggles will hit everyone, regardless of how happy or perfectly suited. If the two of you aren't firmly set in the "why" and "purpose" of your specific pairing, everything you have will be washed away in an instant. Be a "we" with roots.
- Be friends: More than starting as friends, it's important for a dating relationship to stay friendly. Jay and Bey understood what it was like to interact as friends, to laugh, explore and enjoy life together. As they always say, the best relationships fight like a married couple, talk like best friends, flirt like first loves and make up like siblings. Coming from a place where you just like each other as people seems so obvious, but is surprisingly overlooked and undervalued.
- Don't drop your own goals: How did Beyonce catch Jay-Z's eye? By being talented and fabulous. How did she momentarily make him back off? Same reason. I'm guessing that Jay-Z was pretty used to being the only (or at least biggest) thing going on in his woman's life. Although it was Beyonce's extraordinarily talent that made him realize she was different, he didn't account for how that might effect the way he was used to a relationship feeling. He came back and she didn't have to lose herself in the process. If she had backed off of her own goals and melted herself into his, Beyonce wouldn't have been the woman that made Jay fall in the first place...and who knows how that change would've directed their future. I'm willing to bet he'd lump her into the pile of "like the rest" and she would've become really frustrated and bored without the pursuit of her real passion. Not like I know this from experience or anything...except this is exactly what I seem to do all the time...cough, cough... I'm learning.
- Keep your relationship personal: Your relationship should be a special refuge between two people. The highs and lows are something you celebrate and deal with together. Happy as they were, Beyonce and Jay-Z resisted the urge to broadcast their relationship. For two people who had every reason to be suspicious of someone's intentions, keeping this special bond between the two of them would help to develop a deeper trust and makes it possible to have the privacy to work on the downs. This relationship was never about anybody else except the two of them. They weren't trying to rub it in their ex's faces. They weren't trying to play it up for the press. They were just trying to be to humans figuring out something bigger than themselves.
- Work together: This doesn't necessarily mean in business, although Beyonce and Jay-Z admit that it helped and directed their relationship. I think the key here is to be willing to approach a relationship as something that needs time, effort and collaboration. Consider your own interests, as well as, the needs of this external partnership. Pursue the growth of both with the help of your "co-worker."
And, just because...well, ya know...just because Beyonce...watch these videos and get ready to feel powerful about love. Be in charge of who you become.