I feel for Taylor Swift. I wouldn't call myself a fan, even though this song has been lodged in my brain like a tumor for weeks. The poor girl caught a lot of flack at the Golden Globes this weekend for being the break up queen. It seems to me that this title is one direction that her public has somewhat pushed her into. Taylor Swift is better in a break up.
It is tough going through a public relationship. There is so much added pressure. And as much as your fans would love to see you happy, they looooooove to see you fall too. TDH and I have broke up two years ago and people still tell me that our break up post is their favorite. It was so raw and real. What tends to be forgotten is that there was a real person experiencing the real pain behind it. Writing is how I tend to make sense of things and to see the words helps me to take the pain outside of myself.
Of course, Taylor Swift is going to write about her heartbreaks. Unlike plenty of singers out there, she is a talented songwriter. That is her tool for figuring things out. If she's going through an emotion, she's going to write about it. That's what artists do. And we love it. Mean won a freaking Grammy and her performance brought down the house during the awards show. Can you blame the girl for finding a formula that works?
I, for one, LOVED it when she called out that Jonas Brother for breaking up with her via text. Seriously. What a doucher! They'd been going out for awhile. At some point, you've got to realize that this can't be the only side people see of you. It will backfire...hard.
She does seem to be going through a lot of these break ups, but I feel for her. Maybe she's difficult to date...or maybe she's just doing a terrible job of picking dudes. When I was her age, I was extra awful at it. Do you know how much John Mayer would've messed me up?! I mean, this guy's predecessor did enough to my 23 year old head. I'm willing to be that she enters situations ready for a relationship. She's pretty, successful, well-known. She meets a guy and just kinda pops into place. That can freak a guy out and their intentions probably weren't that great from the start. What's she supposed to do? It's not her fault that she fits so well.
Similarly, it can suuuuuuuuuuuuuuck to be a dating and relationship writer. You have to really put your heart out there in order to build a relationship with your readers. That can't be faked and it really puts you in a vulnerable position. Do you know how much I didn't want to write this post about my last break up? OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOD!!! I didn't even promote it once posted. But I had written so much about that relationship to that point. I blogged about it. It was all the funk over Twitter. I had buckled to having a "Facebook Official" relationship. I wrote a column that appeared in RedEye's print edition. If it had just vanished from my writing and I never addressed it, I would've felt like I was lying to you. You were along for the ride too. And I still chose to keep many details out.
I had never wanted to be too autobiographical on Accidentally Sexy, preferring to pepper in anecdotes in support of a broader theme to laying out a kiss-and-tell dish fest. That just seems so strange to me. When I was being interviewed for a You, Me, Them, Everybody and the only subject was my relationship, it really freaked me out. I think Taylor Swift is getting a similar wake up call.
It is a huge privilege to be part of a stranger's journey. I take the relationship I have with every single one of you reading this very, very personally. To have the opportunity to help you feel better on a bad day or give you the supportive mantras you need is the most bizarre and incredible experience that I could ever be thankful to have. I am a writer and Taylor Swift is a singer. Our whole purpose is to cast light into your life, not sunbathe in our own spotlight.
You want to share insights from your own experiences, but it should never really be about you. It's about the reader or listener who takes time out of their day to tune into what you have to say. It's not that special to be going on dates. What's special is making it relatable. And that's why people listen to Taylor Swift and why (I really, really hope) you'll be back to read more.