Remember When Grinding Was Cool?

Grind (v.) - 1. When two overly stimulated people don't know how to dance, so they just rub up against each other kiiiiiiinda to the music.  2. The prequel to this or Kim K's tape.  You canNOT tell me Ray J didn't get all hands-y and publicly creepy first.  (If Kanye is talking about it, I can too, guys!)

When I first starting going to clubs, I'd get mega tramped up and slither around to my favorite top 40 hits.  Boys would just kinda paw at you and when you are young, new and inexperienced this seems kinda flattering. You just don't know any better.  For all the guys that just read that and thought "Yep!  Exactly!", I hope there were girls that read that and thought, "Ew...that's so true."  The guys that rely on that naivete are the ones that you make signals to your friends about. *See below.

If some random dude were to come up behind me now, grab my hips and bump his denim encased manhood up against my derriere, I would probably turn around and krav maga his face off.  It's not interesting, it's not sexy and it's definitely not showing any type of skill.  The lady doesn't like.

The worst part about that move, even when I was a clueless youngun, was that you never really knew if a guy was cute or not.  The guy who approaches you from behind is pretty much counting on that.  It's the dance floor equivalent to someone who doesn't put full body photos in their online profile...somebody is hiding five chins or a fugly face.  My girls and I  had a set of intricate hand signals to let the other girl know if Mr. Bump-And-Grind was cute or not.

Think of it this way.  If you were on the bus and someone came over and groped you, you'd be all pissed off.  This doesn't really change just because there is music.  Even if you were in a relationship with that person, more than likely you'd say, "Are you kidding me?  This is the bus.  There are strangers everywhere watching us.  It's dirty.  My friends are literally sitting right next to us.  I suddenly have a are that headache."

Don't get me wrong.  I love to dance, even though I'm terrible at it.  I love going to see live music or hear a really awesome DJ.  I'm cool with being at a music fest in the middle of hundreds of people, where everyone is sweating and bumping up against me.

When it comes to dancing, or really any type of courtship, I like someone who can show some skill.  If we're going to dance, let's really dance.  We'll learn more about how each other's moves anyway.


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