I better start by saying that I really couldn't care less about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes splitting up. I don't really care about celebrities. Their relationship is none of my business. And having just come out of a locally public relationship, I can't even imagine how that would be on a global scale. Break ups suck and, celebrity or not, people are still people.
BUT when I got an e-mail saying that Divorce Court's Judge Lynn Toler wanted to do an interview on the subject, I was all "Uhhhhh...yeah, duh." There was no way I was going to turn down an interview with the Divorce Court judge. This show has been around for THIRTEEN seasons, people! My grandma would never speak to me again!
Can I just say that she was super pleasant over the phone?
Ana: Break ups are hard. Public break ups are even harder. What advice would you give Katie in facing public scrutiny over the next few months?
Judge Toler: Every word you say is looked at with a microscope. Keep your own council, listen to your lawyers and as say little as you can.
Ana: She's asking for full custody of Suri. That seems a little extreme, right?
Judge Toler: I don't know why she is asking for sole cutosty, but most divorce courts like joint custody with primary physical custody going to one of the parents. It's definitely not the preferred way to go.
Ana: Tom seemed to fall in love very loudly, very quickly and very publicly, ie. jumping on couches. What the f*** is up with that?
Judge Toler: I tell couples in my court all the time that love is an outrageous chemical reaction. It is not a fairytale. The high you experience is a reason to investigate the possibility of marriage, but it is not an accurate depiction of how it's going to be.
Ana: How do you split friends? They were together for five years!
Judge Toler: And they are in a rarified circle, a celebrity Hollywood circle. I've seen couples in my court that shared the same circles. In the beginning, they kept each other informed as to where they are. That way no one gets surprised. After awhile, you've just got to learn to look at them, see them and not let them bother you. It's hard, but it can be done.
Ana: Do you think it's because she saw Rock Of Ages and it totally dawned on her "Omg. My husband's suuuuuper gay"?
Judge Toler: ::Laughs:: I have no comment.
A little bit about Judge Toler:
On DIVORCE COURT, Judge Lynn Toler has been responsible for adjudicating the countless squabbles and foibles to be found in relationships. Over the past several seasons, she has established herself as a presence to be reckoned with, bringing tenacity and compassion to the courtroom, enforcing at times unusual or nontraditional, yet legally binding, judgments.
In 2006, Lynn published her book, My Mother's Rules: A Practical Guide to Becoming an Emotional Genius. Praised as an 'awe-inspiring memoir' by Essence Magazine, it not only chronicles her life as a child raised in the shadow of her father's mental illness but provides practical advice for anyone seeking more and better emotional control. Additionally, Lynn's second book, which she co-authored with Deborah Hutchinson, hit shelves in September 2009. Titled Put it in Writing! Creating Agreements Between Family and Friends, the book offers concrete solutions to the difficult situations that arise between family and friends.
Lynn has also completed a new book titled Making Marriage Work, to be released this summer.