When you first meet a guy, we all hope for the best. He seems cool, cute and seems interested. Yet, there are so many wolves parading as princes. It can be rough out there! That's why I've compiled a list of 9 phrases with the help of some field research and talking to some of my more "active" guy friends that shouldn't just serve as red flags, but as a "GET THE F OUT" trumpet.
- You're addictive.: If you ever hear this, run for the freaking hills! This is not the compliment as it is cleverly disguised. If a guy calls you addictive, he is saying that he is not accustomed to repeated use. He doesn't tend to call girls back. Once the high is gone, he's out.
- I'm not asking anything of you, except that you be yourself.: This has nothing to do with him wanting you to be yourself. Chances are that you only met recently and he has no idea who you are. When a guy says this, he is saying "I'm going to do me, so you should do you."
- I'm not sure what this is going to be.: Again, this is usually said very, very early on. Most likely you'll hear it within the first few days of even knowing the dude. You're at a point where you don't know either what you want from this. You don't know if this is someone you would even consider for boyfriend material. You just met. You are just beginning to learn each other. If a guy says this, he's just beginning to lay the groundwork for the ol' "I'm not looking for commitment" conversation. Neither of you should know what "this" is going to be at that point. If he feels the need to verbalize it in a serious one-on-one talk, he's just trying to let you know that he's not really in the market for anything.
- If you have any questions, you can ask me anything about myself.: It's good to be open, but it's weird to make it so obvious that you "have nothing to hide." If you have just met someone you should be asking questions, that's natural. That's how we get to know anybody. If they're not willing to just let this progress without a Q&A, that's a serious "watch out."
- My (last relationship) had insecurity issues. There are certain things about my personality that she couldn't handle.: He was probably cheating on that chick. First, you shouldn't be bringing up past relationships in the first few days of meeting someone. That just means you aren't over them. Second, there certainly are people who get more jealous than others, but there are also partners that can make even the coolest cucumber burst into flames.
- I don't usually act this way. You do this to me.: Ohhhhhh, really. I know we all want to believe this one, but just roll your eyes and walk away. Trust me.
- Any reference to having a very busy schedule.: We're all busy. In fact, I'm VERY busy, but you make time for things that matter. It might not be every day, but you find a way to make it work. If a guy brings it up a few times from day one, you know he's just saying he's not going to be opening up that schedule for you.