Was there some sort of crazy horny moon out this weekend? Maybe it was just the warmer weather or my cute color block dress, but there were some pretty forward dudes out on the prowl.
I was waiting in line for the bathroom at Haus Party when this exact conversation occurred. It wasn't that he wasn't cute. He was! He was that tall, thin hipster-type with messy dark hair that drives me wild. It wasn't even necessarily that he was much drunker than I was, even though just looking at him I could tell his breath would taste like stale PBR and Doritos. It wasn't even that his artist story completely fell apart in the greatest of ways. He could have come back from that. It's just that ten seconds of effort does not result in a hot make out session in the bathroom line.
This episode happened while I was taking a breather from the guy cornering me in the kitchen. Also very cute, had a successful career, liked the same music I did, but literally had me pinned against a table with his pelvis while he talked to me. My friends were taking turns swooping in and pushing him off me for a little bit. One even called him out for having pursued another really close friend of mine a few months ago. It was one of those "don't look him in the eyes, because he is totally going to have his tongue down your throat" moments. Even with all of this, he kept asking me to come home with him. I told him that I don't do that, which he interpreted as "if I keep asking, this is going to eventually work out for me."
We soon left that party and headed out to meet the rest of our friends at Burton's. There a 5'4'' white dude in a button up red Bulls jersey over a regular red Bulls jersey and a backwards Bulls hat, one look and you knew this guy sells weed and his grandma's prescription pills at street festivals, started making out with my slightly more outrageous friend.
My ride soon wanted to leave. His friend had brought Bulls jersey guy, so the three of us headed out together with Benny the Bull sitting in back with me. About two blocks into the ride, Benny slides over in the seat and whispers to me, "Are you going to come home with me tonight? We don't have to do anything." This was the first thing he had said to me all night long. To which I replied, "Remember how you literally just finished making out with my friend?" He looked at me like I had just punched him in the face and stopped talking for the rest of the ride.
These encounters got me thinking. I hadn't been acting flirtacious, which I know I sometimes do. I was sober, so I didn't just look like an easy target. I was just hanging out. Why do some guys think it's okay to skip ALL of the steps? I don't just hop along home with someone who hasn't even bought me a drink or probably even attempted to remember my name. Of course, I've made out with random guys, but that novelty really wore off when I realized how easy it was. I don't need all my friends and a bunch of random strangers seeing me kiss someone either. I'm a little more private than that.
Worst of all, there was a really nice guy at the party. He was cute and interesting, but the aggressive guy kept scaring him away. Is this why nice guys finish last?