You may recall my love for PinkKisses.com, a super smart one-stop shop for the newly single lady. Last time we heard from Ellie at Pink Kisses, she gave five easy tips to get through the holidays without your plus one. Well, Ellie is back to shed a little light on regret and how to get passed it:
Regret is one of the hardest emotions to release. It's that little voice in the back of your brain that just won't stop pestering you. It's the nagging reminder that your life might not be what it could have been.
It's not shocking that a new study from Northwestern University and the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign found that 44 percent of women have regrets about their love life (compared to just 19 percent of men). Love and relationships are hugely important to women, even if we don't like to admit it. And, apparently, a whole lot of us think we haven't made the best decisions in our love life. I know I've struggled in this department.
Maybe you've been through a breakup with a potential Mr. Right you didn't see coming and now think you could have tried harder. Maybe you stayed way too long with a guy who wasn't that awesome, and you're stuck with the regret that you should have left sooner. Or, maybe it's just that you never told that middle-school crush how you felt. On some level, we all feel like we could have been smarter in our love lives.
Here's the thing: love isn't logical. It's pure emotion. You feel like a person is a good fit. A guy makes you feel beautiful. Your emotions get in the way of your logic and keep you from seeing the reality in a situation. It's your emotions that can keep you hooked on a guy who's no good for you or keep you from falling for a guy who would give you the world. Because you're human, you look back at the past and beat yourself up over how you handled it a little bit.
Truth is, you can't change what's happened. Regretting your actions won't do a damn bit of good. It'll only hold you back. Sure, thinking about the "what ifs" and the "if onlys" is easy to do, especially if you find yourself in less than awesome circumstances at the moment. But, in my experience, people who hold onto any type of regret have a much harder time being truly happy.
So why not look at your past mistakes as practice? Why not think of those little pieces of your heart's history as part of the incredible fabric that is woven into the person you are today? Why not turn regrets into a vow to live your life to the fullest from here on out?
We could all tell the people we cherish exactly how much they mean to us a little more often. We could all try harder in every single one of our relationships. We could all learn that sometimes moving on and letting go just means starting a new, exciting adventure.
So why can't we all stop regretting our past and start living our present? If we don't, we might just regret letting our regrets get in the way.