For the month of January, I am not going on any dates. Yes, you read that right. I, Ana Fernatt, am going on a Man Fast.
People enter a fast to help gain some level of clarity. By giving up something that you rely on, you begin to understand what you actually need from it.
When TDH and I first parted ways, I was very sad but completely in love with all my new Ana Time. I could spend time just playing around with my outfits and makeup. I had time for two-hour workouts after work. I could spend an evening just cooking in the kitchen. On Saturday mornings, I could get up early and clean, meet my friends or just dance around my room. It felt good.
After a month or so passed, I'd given myself time to come up for air and began to entertain the idea of dating someone new. And things got a little crazy. My dance card became very, very full and there went all my free time! My dating life was like a hunting expedition on the Oregon Trail. I was clearly bagging all the bison before I'd even made it to Chimney Rock, completely forgetting to preserve some for the long winter ahead.
And yet, I was only observing these dating interactions through an impenetrable stone fortress wall. I was dating like a man. Lots of variety, zero emotions. Nobody stood a real chance. Well, I was mostly dating like a man, because a man would be doing this with the intention of getting laid. I was not. I'm incredibly discerning.
Previously, I've forced myself to go along with it. He's a guy that I "should" like or in theory this is the guy I "should" be with. Then I end up in some exclusive relationship that I'm really not that thrilled about. I'm just not willing to do that anymore. I'm really giving myself time to wade through my feelings before making any decision one way or another and that means taking it slow.
This January, I need to focus on me. There is a lot of work to be done and I need to eliminate the distractions...the handsome, gorgeous distractions. It's time to fully understand my independence and individual strength for all that it's worth. It's the beginning of a new year and I need to lay the groundwork for a big, big year.
No dates, no flirtations, no hook-ups. Of course, these tend to be the famous last words. I'll probably be engaged within a week.
Want to join me in a date-free January? Let's turn 2011 into our best year ever.