Man free for 1 month

For the month of January, I am not going on any dates.  Yes, you read that right.  I, Ana Fernatt, am going on a Man Fast.

People enter a fast to help gain some level of clarity.  By giving up something that you rely on, you begin to understand what you actually need from it.

When TDH and I first parted ways, I was very sad but completely in love with all my new Ana Time.  I could spend time just playing around with my outfits and makeup.  I had time for two-hour workouts after work.  I could spend an evening just cooking in the kitchen.  On Saturday mornings, I could get up early and clean, meet my friends or just dance around my room.  It felt good.

After a month or so passed, I'd given myself time to come up for air and began to entertain the idea of dating someone new. And things got a little crazy.  My dance card became very, very full and there went all my free time!  My dating life was like a hunting expedition on the Oregon Trail.  I was clearly bagging all the bison before I'd even made it to Chimney Rock, completely forgetting to preserve some for the long winter ahead. 

And yet, I was only observing these dating interactions through an impenetrable stone fortress wall.  I was dating like a man.  Lots of variety, zero emotions.  Nobody stood a real chance. Well, I was mostly dating like a man, because a man would be doing this with the intention of getting laid.  I was not.  I'm incredibly discerning.

 

Previously, I've forced myself to go along with it.  He's a guy that I "should" like or in theory this is the guy I "should" be with.  Then I end up in some exclusive relationship that I'm really not that thrilled about.  I'm just not willing to do that anymore.  I'm really giving myself time to wade through my feelings before making any decision one way or another and that means taking it slow.

This January, I need to focus on me.  There is a lot of work to be done and I need to eliminate the distractions...the handsome, gorgeous distractions.  It's time to fully understand my independence and individual strength for all that it's worth.  It's the beginning of a new year and I need to lay the groundwork for a big, big year.

No dates, no flirtations, no hook-ups.  Of course, these tend to be the famous last words.  I'll probably be engaged within a week.

Want to join me in a date-free January?  Let's turn 2011 into our best year ever.

Filed under: Uncategorized

Tags: 2011, dating, New Year

Comments

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  • Love it! I'm with you.

  • In reply to LeonorVivanco:

    Fabulous. #ManFreeJan !!

  • In reply to LeonorVivanco:

    I've did a date-free stretch last year - it's a solid move if you want to put focus on other things in your life (like career or family), and taking a little time off helps with evaluating your dating criteria IMO.

  • In reply to LeonorVivanco:

    I've been on a year-long vow of celibacy. Not by choice, mind you. :)

    Good luck Ana. I know you're going do just fine!

  • In reply to LeonorVivanco:

    I did this same thing at the beginning of 2010 and I'd say that 2010 was one of the best years of my life. My GPA at Northeastern Illinois this term: 3.75, and I like to think that that success is due in part to my not being in a relationship with anyone. Being single by choice for a while can be a very good thing for you and I'm sure you'll find it just as good for you!

  • In reply to LeonorVivanco:

    Pretty excited about man free Jan!!! What better way to kick off the new year than devoting an entire month solely to yourself??

  • In reply to LeonorVivanco:

    Hey Anna,

    Just want to wish you good luck! After my ex-gf and I split-up last year, I decided to take some time off from dating, and other than some random lonely moments, I know it was the right decision! I'm enjoying what I like to refer to as "My Personal Quality Time", -Not responsible to anyone but myself!

    One more thing... Despite what you make think of the majority, all of us guys aren't a**holes...!

    Take care,

    Donny

  • In reply to Donny:

    Oh, Donny. I don't think all guys are a**holes. Not by a long shot!

    I'm glad you allowed yourself to have some alone time post break up. It's really amazing to start understanding what it feels like to stand on your own two feet and just how incredibly powerful you actually are.

  • In reply to Donny:

    This is hilarious

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