5 things his friends say about him

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(Photo Credit: Clinton Steeds on Flickr)

You are only as good as the company you keep.

Consider your own group of friends. How do they effect your daily choices? Like it or not, your friends say a lot about who you are and what you want in life.

The same goes for guys. You can tell the type of guy you are dealing with just by looking at his friends.

Below are five types of friend groups to watch out for:

  1. His friends are all very single. If you are looking for a relationship, look to a guy whose friends are also in relationships. No guy wants to be the only one with a girlfriend.  While all his friends are free to do whatever they want, when they want, he has to consider you in his choices. Honestly, that can be a bit of a buzzkill.  A guy with friends who have girlfriends or wives, however, wants to join in on the fun and the couples nights.  Adversely, if you aren't looking for anything serious, steer clear of these guys!
  2. His friends are players or cheaters. I don't hate the player, I just don't mess with them either. If your guy is friends with these types, he is essentially saying it's OK to behave that way. If he covers for them, it's even worse. If he accepts that behavior and all his friends accept it, there is nothing stopping him from behaving that way toward you. This was a major issue in a recent relationship. He would defend and almost envy his guys' doggish behavior. In the end, I was right.
  3. His friends aren't driven, successful or goal-oriented. This goes for girls as much as guys. If your friends are trying to make something of themselves, you are more likely not to try that hard either. If you surround yourself with successful, interesting people, there is no limit to how far or how fast you can climb. Plus, your friends will be supportive of your journey, because they can relate to it.
  4. His friends party too much. If you think a guy will "grow up once he ____," you are wrong. What you see now is what you are going to see later.  Imagine how he's going to feel if his friends are calling him at 4 a.m. or when he hears all the stories he's missing out on. If you're not down with his party lifestyle, he's not a good fit.
  5. His friends are all girls. I have dated too many of this character. I've never really minded it, because I tend to have a lot of male friends and my boyfriend has to deal with it.  Also, it means that I can hang with some girls. I've always thought these were pluses. The truth is, however, that at least one of these girls will be trying to get with your boyfriend. I once dumped a guy at a Halloween party. He was so much more flirty with one friend and so distanced from me that guests I just met that night kept telling me they thought he was her boyfriend and not mine. The grand finale was when my friend and I were looking for him at the party only to walk into her room and find them laying next to each other on her bed.  Sure, they were just talking, but there is a limit to how you behave when you have a relationship. Plus, so many situations have started with "just talking."

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  • The idea that "You can tell the type of guy you are dealing with just by looking at his friends," is revolting. It is hard to comprehend how someone could prescribe such a sweeping generalization as advice for meeting potential mates. Yes, there are cohesive characteristics about guys that might suggest we are all the same, but just because a guy's friends are players or party too much does not mean that we see eye to eye about relationships, how to treat women, etc. This is like saying that there are no individuals within a group of friends, just a hive mind of the whole. I can only hope that the women I meet don't follow advice like this.

  • In reply to dtrimarco:

    Hi Dan, I'm super flattered that you think anyone is following my advice that precisely. I'm just a girl with thoughts and a voice. I don't even pretend to be 100% right all the time and I'm glad that my piece inspired you to comment. The whole point behind a blog is to create conversation and I thank you for that.

    The simple fact is, however, that you are only as good as the people you associate with. It's not that we make one group decision like a school of fish or family of lemmings, but, like it or not, you are effected by the lifestyles of people around you. Generally, we choose to hang out with people that we share a common bond with. That would mean that there is a common characteristic among most groups of friends. Sure, there is usually a slutty one or the one that can't quite figure their life out or the one who's notoriously inappropriate within any group of friends. There is a big difference between one within the group and the whole group.

    Am I unique from my friends? Yes, absolutely. We don't all dress the same, we don't all have the same education, we don't have the same jobs. The things that we have in common, however, are pretty strong traits.

    Thanks for reading!

  • In reply to dtrimarco:

    #3 is grammatically incorrect...

  • In reply to khrista09:

    Meh..."If I'd observed the rules, I'd never have gotten anywhere." - Marilyn Monroe

  • In reply to AnaFernatt:

    Right..good point...Marilyn Monroe would probably totally agree that "If your friends are trying to make something of themselves, you are more likely not to try that hard either." ...

  • In reply to khrista09:

    Just don't tell Mrs. Wolff. She'll be so ashamed of me.

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