Dear Guys: Nine Steps To An Awesome First Date

Dear Guys: Nine Steps To An Awesome First Date
(sxc.hu) Okay...this is maybe a liiiiiiittle too eager.

(sxc.hu) Okay...this is maybe a liiiiiiittle too eager.

I went on a first date this weekend and it was really, really fun.  This guy did everything right, which made me realize that I haven't seen this in a while. A first date should make the girl feel appreciated, respected, lucky and like the guy actually wants to be there.

Before my comment board blows up with any version of the following sentiments, "girls shouldn't expect to be put on a pedestal," "pop culture sets expectations too high," or "real life isn't like this," let me say this: If you believe any of that, you need to stop dating girls that you don't really like that much.  You are creating your own problem.

Below are nine easy steps that every guy should take on a first date:

  1. If you want to go out with her on the weekend, ask her by Tuesday.  Do NOT ask her at 8 p.m. on Friday. This was awesome.  It showed me that he was considerate of my schedule, valued my time and was serious about wanting to get on my calendar.  There is nothing worse than a wishy-washy guy.  If a guy is interested and respects you, he won't take any chances.
  2. Plan the first date.  Once she says yes, take a day or two to research what you want to do and where you want to take her.. The first few dates are on the guy to pull together.  I HATE when a guy asks me to pick a restaurant or dating activity in the early days.  I don't know what his budget is like.  Even if I want to go somewhere really nice, I'll never ask for that and come off as a gold digger.  A guy should take you there because he wants to take you there.
  3. Pay for the date. This should go without saying, but I'm just going to make sure this is clear.  I'll usually pay for a few little things, like concessions at the theater, if I like the guy, but a guy should always plan to pay for everything.  If she wants to go halfzies on the bill, tell her to put her money away.  If a girl "doesn't like it when a guy pays," she probably just doesn't like you and want to feel like she owes you anything.  Even the most independent woman appreciates nice gestures.
  4. Pre-date banter is awesome. Send a few texts that are not overly flirty, but more fun and quippy.  It shows that you're excited to see her and helps build up the anticipation.  By the time Friday rolls around, the conversation is already friendly and easy.
  5. Pick her up at her apartment.  Whether you have to walk there, cab there, train there, just do it. In this case, the restaurant was actually in his neighborhood and he still met me at mine.  That gesture did not go unnoticed.
  6. Don't go in for the kill.  Treat it like a first date.  One that, if it's good, will be followed up by second, third and fourth date. It takes me awhile to warm up to somebody.  My date was the perfect gentleman.  It was so refreshing to be respected like that.
  7. Text her right away and tell her that you want to see her again.  Amazing.
  8. Get in touch with her by Tuesday and get on her schedule for the weekend.
  9. Repeat.

Even if this doesn't turn out to be a romantic connection, he is on of the most enjoyable people I've ever met.  I needed that.

What are your first date tips?

Comments

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  • I would say on a first date, do not bring flowers. Sure flowers are an awesome gesture, but it makes you look needy at times. the other thing is that she may be allergic to certain flowers and now she is going to be drowsy through the first date thanks to the medication she had to take :-( Play it cool and wait till you know what she likes. 3rd or 4th dates are perfect for giving flowers if you like her. Also, do not have flowers delivered, bringing them yourself is appreciated more because you took the time to pick them out yourself.

  • These are good rules. I would augment "Plan the first date" with "get some input/info from her. Probably falls under "research" but you do not want to take a vegitarian or vegan to a steak joint, for instance.

  • Just want to say that I really enjoy #2. Yes, it's nice to have input, but I hate having to be asked where I want to go. First sometimes I really just don't know, and second, I want something that we'll both enjoy and would allow me to see him where he's most comfortable.

  • In reply to JamFish:

    Exactly.

  • In reply to JamFish:

    Right on, Ana. Another tip I'd add would be to not mention or ask about ex's on the first few dates. It may sound like common sense/courtesy to not approach the topic, but I've definitely been on dates, even first ones to my dismay when the questions started rolling in.

  • In reply to mmjc16:

    Totally! If you are talking to a new date about an old flame, you are CLEARLY not over that person. Thanks for playing!

  • In reply to mmjc16:

    Great post! It drives me nuts when guys can't follow rule #1. Also, in setting up the date, I'd like it if a guy would call instead of text but maybe I'm old school.

  • In reply to mmjc16:

    Great post! It drives me nuts when guys can't follow rule #1. Also, in setting up the date, I'd like it if a guy would call instead of text but maybe I'm old school.

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