David Arquette is a HUGE TOOL

David Arquette.JPG

(Photo Credit: Getty Images) That's right, you're holding the umbrella because no one gives a crap who you are.

Wow...what a (bleep).  After unconfirmed reports of infidelity right before they tied the knot, another round while she was carrying his baby and I'm sure multiple claims throughout, Courteney Cox and David Arquette have (finally!) officially announced they are having a trial separation.  Dear David, your wife has actually gotten WAY WAY hotter with age.  She was kinda cute on Friends and in Scream, but she's turned into a ridiculously stunning woman in Cougar Town.  On a scale from 1 to 10, she is a 30 and you could maybe pass as a 5 because you slept with Courteney Cox.  What the hell are you doing? 

David Arquette, whose film roles generally have him play some sort of dufus, has taken this "trial separation" as an opportunity to go on a media tour flaunting his cheating, womanizing ways.  First stop, the Howard Stern Show...just where any guy who is trying to piece together his failing marriage would go.

In the interview, he talks about banging other women, including Jasmine Waltz who looks strikingly like his wife.  He talks about it with such callous disregard (not recalling whether they slept together once or more than once, saying it made him feel manly) that it's not too far of a stretch to think she's one of a number.  He reveals the very personal details of how he told his 6 year old daughter.  He lets the whole world in on his sexual relationship with his wife.  He is very sure to announce that he is allowed to sleep with whoever he wants during the "trial separation."  But, then, he says he's seeing a counselor to help him work out his issues and immaturity.  Really?  They need to be fired.  Obviously, it's not sinking in too well.

Dear David, the only news that makes you relevant is that you are hurting a beautiful woman who loves you.  I'm glad that makes you feel so big and strong.  You are nobody.

Courteney, trial separation is over.  Get that divorce, girl!  You need to free yourself from such a toxic leech.  Worried about little Coco?  She doesn't need a man in her life that disrespects not just her mother, but women in general.  I'm sure you knew this from the beginning.

Trust me, I know this type.  Listen to your intuition.  You are always right.

What advice would you give Courteney?

Leave a comment