Learning from LiLo's list of romantic disasters

Sam Ronson

(AP)

So, after violating her probation, LiLo is in jail-o. Apparently, we all need to care a lot, unlike her crazy parents who are using it as an opportunity to get interviews on Larry King Live...I guess we all grieve differently. Let's be fair, we've all made some pretty dumb mistakes (before facebook turned your friends into highly skilled papparazzi) that have managed to stay fairly secret.  I'm not making excuses for Lindsay.  That girl has been acting crazy and, honestly, I'm pretty thankful that she has to pay some type of price...purely from the position of "If I behaved this way, I would be shipped off to Alcatraz to raise a flock of birds."

Against all my better, more intellegent, sober lightbulb thoughts, I love a good Lohan story.  It's almost better than shaved head Britney...almost.  Remember when LiLo went to Capri for a week and went on a man binge ("allegedly")?  Or when she went to rehab and left with a boyfriend and a media tour?  I sure do.  Those were the days!  It must be rough, though, to live out your boy craze and love flops so publicly (oh wait, that's exactly what my blog is. Didn't think that one through!).  I guess the difference is that I get to tell the story, rather than have some girl I don't know in Chicago jealously spin it for me.  Have I gone on a European make-out marathon tour before?  Maybe.  Probably.

Let's take a moment to recap an ("allegedly" abbrieviated) list of Lindsay's "alleged" former flames in chronological order.  This particular list of rumors has been provided by NNDB.com...

TDH has a huge crush on Lindsay Lohan, as well as, Mischa Barton, Ashlee Simpson, Aubrey O'Day and any other tragic, hot mess you can name.  Am I a big ball of "falling-apart crazy" and I just haven't realized it yet?  As noted previously, I have had a history of dating the "happily single guy" only to make him realize it's fun to be in a relationship...and have them seek the actual relationship with someone else...am I Lohan on a budget?

On an ironic note, TDH also wants to keep our relationship on the slightly less public side...but, I'd just like to note, that's not quite how the Lohan rolls...

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  • As long as she stays away from Charlie Hunnam, Adrien Brody and Gerard Butler, she can bang away!

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