I swear, I'm like the freaking boyfriend whisperer. I'm that girl that a guy will take out on dates, introduce to his friends, tell all about their past and all of their deepest wishes. It's clear that I am their "number one," but I am not their girlfriend. Why? Because the guy I tend to attract is a free-thinking, exciting man-about-town who could charm the spots off a dalmation...a seriously difficult catch. A guy who has typically been hurt by someone, is very jaded and knows far too well just how great a single life can be. Then, I show up. After a few sharp comments and quick quips, their world is shaken. Brains can come packaged with curves. However...they are still convinced that they don't want a girlfriend...yet. It's just too scary.
This has not always been a bad thing. It means that I, also, don't have to be thinking long-term or really be that committed, although I usually am. There's always a point, however, where it's time to move or setup camp. Every time...and, I mean, every single time...when I finally get bored with him...the very next girl he dates becomes a super serious relationship that is "official" within the first week. Why? Because I helped them realize that being with someone can actually be fun!
It's hurtful that they clearly did not think they wanted to be a relationship with me and I'll spend hours thinking critically about myself. The girl they're with is so boring...she's not very pretty...she's kinda tubs. I just don't get it! Yet...I kinda do. I have two theories on this phenomenon. 1) Your first touch of "wow...this is really great...I could totally see myself with this person," is intense. Most guys get scared, confused or nervous and would rather end it than face it. 2) They were ready. You weren't.
Think about it. Really think about it. Do you wish you were the person they were with? Really? I'm going to bet no. You broke up for a reason. There was something that said "I don't want this forever." You had other things going on in your life, other goals, different ideas.
Even AllAboutKelli admits this to some degree:
Don't look back, girl. He couldn't keep your attention.
Are you a "boyfriend whisperer"?