Are you in a Facebook Official relationship?

Facebook relationship.JPG

Which one are you?

Facebook seriously annoys me.  I'm not sure who thinks I care that they found a purple cow on their corn patch, but I'd like to let them know I do not.  Remember the days when facebook was merely the easiest way to subtly stalk your crushes?  You could find out what their favorite books, music and tv shows were.  You could check out a few photos from last weekend's parties.  You could send them a flirtacious, yet completely innocuous poke.  (Anybody else think it's wierd that a poke still exists on Facebook?  It's the least interesting function ever.)  But, most of all, you could discover with one easy glance if your crush was single and, if not, who was the jerk that took your target off the market.

Now that Facebook has progressed from its simple beginnings to its neon lights present like a small town farm hand turned Vegas showgirl, its use as a relationship confirmation center is a little more blurred.  You have to consider that its no longer your small group of college friends looking at your profile, but your coworkers, parents and the greater world that be also has Google-able access.  Does everyone and anyone really need to know my favorite quote is "I met a girl who drove me to drink, but I never had the decency to thank her."  Yes, you can make your profiles restricted, but can you really turn down your manager if they request you?  Worse still, does my boss need confirmation that I go from "in a relationship" to "single" to "in a relationship" to "it's complicated" in a matter of hours?  As I begin to become a more public person, I'm realizing there really are a few things that I'd prefer to keep private.

My profile currently has a blank relationship status.  As a young woman leading a very public life, I'm not sure how I feel about letting anyone know if I'm single or sharing my apartment with a linebacker who has rottweilers and knows kung fu (it's totally option two.)  According to everyone who matters (okay, so I've only really discussed this with my best friend), a relationship is not real until it has become "Facebook Official."  Not only are you proudly announcing that you are with somebody, but you are gambling that this one will last longer than a month or two.  The evolution of the relationship is changing, and it's facebook's fault.  Now, the path consists of 1) you go on a date, 2) you go on dates regularly, 3) you are only dating eachother, 4) boyfriend/girlfriend, 5) Facebook official, 6) engaged, 7) married, 8) Facebook is voted as president of the world and I'm somewhere commuting to work in a flying car.

How long do you wait to become "Facebook Official"?

 

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  • I was once with a relationship with a girl, were strangely enough after she wanted to "define the relationship" she didnt want to change her facebook status. At first I was just like, alright im fine with this i guess it doesn't matter much. But after a while it began to bug me, she claimed that she had alot of family cousins and all and didn't want ppl to bug her. But i was pround of having her as a GF and had no problem announcing it so to speak. In the end we broke and i guess no change was required to my status, i guess that was the one plus side.

  • This is interesting. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost six months, but I still have my relationship status blank on Facebook. He changed his to "in a relationship" but I wouldn't care if he had his blank. My Facebook is such a small representation of who I am, and I'm guessing his is, too.

    When I meet people in real life, I make it clear that I am taken, and I don't use my Facebook to meet or flirt with guys in the first place, so I don't think it's a big deal.

    When I'm single, I don't change my status to "single" either.

    I decided to keep my Facebook this way a few years ago after a year-long relationship ended and then "Jenn Kloc is no longer listed in a relationship" cropped up in my 500 friends' news feed and suddenly my break up concerned my entire social network instead of just me and my ex.

    I guess it all comes down to personal preference and how public you want to make your personal life. I'd like to think my Facebook friends care more about the articles and quippy statuses I post more than they do about my relationship status. But just in case the opposite is true, I keep my relationship status to myself.

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    It's ridiculous how much of a REAL thing this has actually become. But it's true, going Facebook Official is the new "pinning". 1960s, you gave a girl your "pin" and everybody knew she was yours and that you were taken. Today, it's all digital, and the Facebook relationship status is the pin.

    We actually did a whole video on this over at http://www.soyouhaveagirlfriend.com/2011/10/20/episode-3-when-to-go-facebook-official/

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