No Sex, No Way

Olive Oil.jpg

(sxc.hu) If one olive oil is "extra virgin", did the other get to second base?

NSFD...sorta...I use the word sex a lot in this one...you've been warned...send cookies!

Sex is everywhere.  It's on nearly every episode of every tv show, every song on every album and is the underlying plot line in movies.  I've even listened to a woman describing her many exotic lovers in a late night NPR broadcast.  Sex sells.  It's as if the consumer public are virtually obsessed with sex...how to get it, how to improve it, how to embody it.  Our eyes, ears and minds are so saturated with this constant search for sex that those who have decided to put a pause on their sex lives are considered front page stories and movie plot lines.

There are multiple reasons why someone might want to take a sex-cation...and all of them are SMART!  I hate to be the Debbie Downer, but everytime you bang it out, you are putting yourself at risk.  When sex is off the table, there is zero worry about getting pregnant or an std.  Plus, it really helps to weed out some of the a-holes.  A guy would have to really like you to stick around even when the only way he'd get in your pants is by saying "I do."  Easiest way to get rid of commitment-phobics and love-liarers EVER!

I fully advocate the idea that people should take control of their sexuality, rather than being a bystander to their own health.  You should make intelligent choices.  You should have standards.  You should consider yourself in the equation.  And if you decide to progress to that next step with someone, you should take it for everything its worth and be present in the situation...embrace it.  You'll find that when you've really thought about your chocie, you will be so much more satisfied with your decision...no more "How did this happen?  He was so ugly/stupid/boring!"  Periods of abstinence are a very, very smart idea.  Take control of your life, don't just watch it happen.

However...I don't believe there is such a thing as a "born-again virgin" or "Virgin 2.0."  I'm sorry to tell you, but once it's gone...it's gone.  Just because you are currently not having sex doesn't mean that suddenly you have never had sex ever.  That would mean people who have been really, really unlucky for the past year or so are suddenly involuntary virgins again.

I can understand waiting until your in a committed relationship to have sex with that person, but I think it would be extremely difficult to then reinstate the "till marriage" clause.  Once you've already lost your virginity, I'm not totally sure how you explain to someone you're dating that you now are not having sex...at all...of any kind...and won't be until he meets you in the aisle.  It seems to me that the reaction would be "but HE got it!!!  Why can't I???" 

If you are actually a virgin, however, you can explain that this is something you've always felt and always done.  Even though some guys would drop out of the running, a lot of guys really prize that illusive virginity...if it's something special that only they can have...they want it.  If you're not a virgin, your sexuality still has a lot of value...but only if you treat it like it does.

When you're dating someone, how long would you wait to have sex?

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