Yes, you absolutely can be just friends, however, at some point or another, from one side or another, the whole issue of dating/attraction/sex absolutely comes into play. Men and women have an instinctual desire to hook-up. The only cases where you are friends are if, a) you're not attracted to them, b) they aren't attracted to you, c) you grew up together and are like siblings.
This doesn't refer to acquaintances, because you can have a zillion of those. I'm only talking about friends that you would go to dinner with alone or call regularly. People with whom you share a definite emotional connection.
The only point where you can really, truly be absolutely nothing more than friends is if you've tested out the dating/relationship/sex waters and you've both come to the conclusion that it's not viable. It can be for a million different reasons, but specifics are pretty irrelevant. The only thing that matters is that you now have zero interest in taking your relationship further.
Lemondrop recently took the stance that an f-buddy should be added to this list. I think the biggest and obvious point here is that an f-buddy is not in any way a "platonic friend." If a person's influence or presence is detrimental to any past, present or future actual, committed relationship, they are not just your friend. Not only are you pulling the rug out from under your own relationship by keeping an f-buddy in the backpocket for an anticipated break-up, but that is incredibly disrespectful to whoever you are actually dating.
As I said in the beginning, I have a good group of guy friends. My best friend is my ex-boyfriend Kent, but obviously that hasn't always been a "just friends" situation. Straight guys and girls can be friends, it's really important that we are...BUT, when you really think about it, have they ever, at any point, fell under the they're not attracted to me, I'm not attracted to them, or we've known eachother since Pre-K rule?
On a lighter note, I'm "guest judging" a cocktail contest at Uncle Fatty's tonight (Tuesday, January 26) as part of The Winter Music Fest.
Reasons you should go:
- Members of Sixteen Candles will be judging with me and I essentially stalked them through my 50Fests adventure this summer. I can't help it! Their set (along with Million$$Mano, Hollywood Holt and Flosstradamus) was the soundtrack to my summer!
- There will be tiki-themed drinks being judged and you guys will get to try some samples! Plus, tiki-themed just makes me think of The Brady Bunch Goes To Hawaii...and that's awesome.
- It's only $5.
- I promise to give you a hug!
- I'll probably offer you dating advice...even if you didn't ask for it!
Doors open at 7 p.m. and judging action starts at 8 p.m.