Married at 25? I guess that's the norm...

IvankaWedding.JPG

(AP Photo/Fred Marcus Photography, Brian Marcus) Ivanka, a successful, wealthy, and beautiful woman, waited until she was 27 to get married. Apparently, that is years past the norm.

Ugh...marriage.

 

I recently read that the average American woman gets married at 25.6 years.  At 25.4, I apparently am on the higher end of this average.  In theory, marriage is definitely something I want in life.  When I'm faced with the realities of this institution, my ring finger recoils in terror.

 

I want to get married, definitely.  But, I see this as something that will happen in the future...the distant future.  Why in the world are my peers choosing to pair off at this point in their lives?  I am too young for this!  Maybe, however, these aren't exactly my peers.  None of my friends are getting married right now.  We have bigger fish to fry...and there are plenty of them in the sea.

 

I look at these married couples and think that I would never want to willingly tether myself to their significant other...not for life!  I don't want to cling to someone with a roving eye or who won't let me see my friends.  I don't want to spend my life with someone who doesn't consider my feelings or make me laugh.  Yet, I see all these couples forcing themselves to be unhappy.  Maybe that's where we differ.  Maybe they're entering this bond with an exit strategy in view.  Of these 25.6 year olds, how many end divorced?  I'm not playing that game.  I don't want to enter into that sort of commitment, unless I'm truly ready to be committed and I'm secure in my choice.

 

I'm looking for a buddy.  Someone who gives me the confidence to be the best person I am able to become.  I want someone who will travel and adventure through life with me.  Someone to hold my hand and enhance my experiences.  And I want to be all that and more to him.  I'm playing for keeps. 

 

I don't think marriage or a relationship means that you should stop personal growth and epic fun.  And if it does mean that, I am NOT interested.  I'm not ready to settle down, but I'm completely ready to settle in.  In theory, I'm ready for this.  In reality, I just haven't met him yet...or he just doesn't realize he's met me.

 

I guess I'm just not average.

 

This begs the question, even with Pumas and Cougars, do we still consider unmarried women in their late-20s and 30s to be Old Maids or past their prime?

Comments

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  • Hear Hear! I know I certainly feel like the oddball amongst my age group because I'm more interested in figuring out me and having my own adventures instead of doing the "OMG, must find man NOW!" dance. I've seen plenty of my peers get so wrapped up in their marriages that they seem to lose their sense of identity and have little to say outside of the context of their relationship. The 20's are such a formative time for your personality and exploring the world. I agree with the author in that the idea of marriage right now feels a bit like getting trapped. There are a lot of things I want to do in my life and for me that may not include another person. I don't want to be the person who is on their deathbed, regretting all the things they never did.

  • If I were you, Ana, I'd be panicking. Why aren't you married yet? Why why why why whyyyy? :p

  • I agree that relationships may have growing pains, per say, but I think that should all be hashed out LONG BEFORE you get married..if you're hashing out those issues and have already been married for quite some time then something isn't right there. I definitely feel like the black sheep amongst a lot of friends, because I'm really not interested in babies or being married or any of that at this moment. Yes, it's something I want, but not something I feel that I NEED to be happy. I feel that a lot of these couples that end in divorce married because they felt they needed that other person to be happy. If you're not happy and you don't love yourself then you can't expect someone to do that for you :) I think I need a guest spot blog somewhere.. haha.

  • My dad says you should never get married if you fear loneliness. And so, I'm of the school of thought that says if you get married at the early-to-mid 20's stage of your life, you're probably panicking about ending up alone.

    Good blog Ana, keep it up.

  • I think I like that idea that dating is like Blockbuster. Isn't that kind of the point of dating, I mean if one person doesn't fit the bill then move on to the nex, right? I am 29, apparently well over the average age and the last of my college friends to still be single - two facts that I am totally fine with. I just haven't met a guy that I really want to be with. The way I see it is I am content being single so why should I change my status if it won't make me any happier (or at least as happy)?

  • I love this article. Many of my unmarried friends are determined to get hitched (and have children - yuck) by a certain age. I feel sorry for the men they are currently dating, or will be. That's a lot of pressure for men, being with someone who expects a lifetime commitment with them before they do. I think marriage is unnecessary... with two exceptions - when it benefits both parties economically or when they have a kid. Don't get me started on weddings. $1,500 for a cake? What!

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