My cell phone has a bounty on my head. Maybe it's heard me talking about wanting to switch to an iPhone and really peeved about it. In any case, my mobile has made repeated attempts to ruin my life. I'm just waiting to open my purse one day and see a poison arrow dart aiming from its beady little screen.
My phone may or may not have starred in Elves.
FACT: My phone will randomly start deleting all my messages and call logs, sometimes before I've even read them.
This sucks on several levels. First, I will think someone is ignoring me and get super miffed for no reason at all. Worse still, sometimes I'll be in the middle of a conversation and the received message will appear in the corner of my screen. When I go into my inbox, however, there's nothing new...just the icon on the screen...taunting me. I'm pretty sure that my phone is holding my messages hostage.
Second, what is the first thing you do after a big night out? Check your messages. For all I know, I told my boss to jump off a cliff or sent pictures of me doing body shots to my grandma. (I've never done this, Grandma!) How am I supposed to start damage control messaging without assessing the damage?!?
FACT: My phone will pocket dial a person thirty times in a row and make me look like a psycho.
If I'm being a psycho, I will totally own up to that one...things happen! If I am just minding my own business, however...suck it, phone! I have actually woken up after being asleep for hours, looked at my call log and seen that "I" have been making dozens of call while completely passed out. I think it knows I'm catching on though, because its beginning to delete its little outgoing tirade from my call log.
FACT: Boys use cell phones as a means to behave like giant weenies.
I can hardly name the last time a guy actually called me. Most go for the scaredy-cat route of a text message. Being a huge wuss myself, I used to appreciate not having the pressure of making conversation and hanging up is always so awkward, but...come on...grow a pair! And, p.s., new rule...if you don't have plans to see me on the weekend, texting me at 9 p.m. on Friday will no longer suffice. Ask a girl out. Be surprising. Call her.
Tune in next week for No Drunk Dial Friday! As for this weekend? My "phone" makes no promises.
Has anyone else found themselves prisoner to the evil whim of their mobile device?