I Can't Dance And You Probably Can't Either

I am a terrible dancer. Probably. I have all the symptoms that would suggest it. I’m tall and awkward, so I can’t hide my long lady wingspan. I’m incredibly uncoordinated. I didn’t learn how to skip until I was about 8 years old. There is video of me in Kindergarten just stomping in really wide... Read more »

Coffee Makes Me Feel Drunk

Coffee is delicious. Espresso is even more delicious. And there is no better way for me to get all loopty-loo in the middle of the day, without feeling like I should check myself into some hippie place called Whispers or Secrets, than to drink a delicious cup of it. First, I get really, really distracted... Read more »

The Shit He'd Never Read

I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. Maybe because it’s the holidays. Maybe because I feel like I’m really starting to catch a vision of you. I think about us sitting on a couch together. Your arm around my shoulders. I’m leaning into your nook. Our friends are there. We’re all laughing. I think... Read more »
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42 Year Old Childless Single Woman Writes Most Maddening Shit I've Ever Read

Ladies, prepare to buy a ticket to England, so that you can find this lady and flip your shit in person. This morning, I read one of the most frustratingly dumb articles I’ve ever seen. The title? “I left the love of my life, because I thought I could do better. Now I’m childless and... Read more »

Ask Your Grandma Her Recipe For Cornbread

Ask Your Grandma Her Recipe For Cornbread
This title is very not SEO friendly, but…suck it, Google…if you get it, you get it…and those are the people this post is meant to be read by. This is for the people who are interested in a real story, not just some catchy, easy “You’ll Never Guess What Happens Next” click bait. You’ll understand... Read more »

I Deleted Tinder: A Survivor's Story

I Deleted Tinder: A Survivor's Story
Two weeks ago, I deleted Tinder…and Hinge…and Luxy. Three apps. I’ve either been 1) really lonely, 2) really bored, or 3) really just f**ked. I’ll leave that call up to my therapist Charles Shaw.* In any case, I deleted them. And now I’m bored. And I don’t really know what to do. Which was part of... Read more »
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Scariest Last Minute Halloween Costumes For Single Women

If you want to scare people, you’ve got to do something that gets them right to the core. I’m talking about the kind of stuff that keeps grown men awake at night and the stuff of your teenage nightmares. The Woman Who Wants To Be In A Real Relationship With You: I mean, this one... Read more »

Online Bullying Is Hilarious

Online Bullying Is Hilarious
Okay. Not the online bullying. But the online bullies. They are hilarious. Yesterday, I posted a picture of my new hair online. Less than 24 hours later, someone had created a brand new instagram to be a dick about my hair. The idea of someone following someone on social media that they already have some festering... Read more »

BIG Announcement For People With Ear Holes

BIG Announcement For People With Ear Holes
Jillian Conley, an erotic novelist and ridiculously good looking human, and I are launching a new radio show! The monthly show, called Her Monthly, will broadcast the third Monday of every month. Who should listen: Cool ass chicks Dudes who want to know more about cool ass chicks We’ll be talking about dating, sexuality, women’s... Read more »
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How To React When Someone Is A Total Jerk

Today, some total b-face went out of her way to try to ruin my day. I was driving home to Iowa for my dad’s 60th birthday. About an hour and a half from my parents’ place is an outlet mall and I decided to pull off to a) buy a present, and b) eat lunch…since... Read more »