If you choose to impersonate someone on Facebook by stealing his or her identity, it’s probably best to not impersonate an air traffic controller—and then try to chat up one of his pilot friends. This gem of wisdom that I bestow upon you is based on a true story that happened to me today. I have a friend (really!) in real life and on Facebook, who is a controller, and someone, using my friend’s same name and photo, asked to friend me.
“Hmm, that’s weird,” I thought. “We’re already friends.” But I don’t know, maybe he’d cancelled his account and re-opened it or had unfriended me because he didn’t particularly like the way I said, “Roger” that last time.
My friend messaged me: “hi”
I messaged him, “Hi Back!”
He wrote, “How are you?”
And that’s when I knew it wasn’t him. My friend, we’ll call him “Craig”, and I have known each other for over twenty-years. He would never ask me how I am. He doesn’t care how I am. Instead, he would call me “Critical” or a rich jet jockey or say something witty or snide or snarky, or all three.
So I asked the suspected imposter, “Which runway has the glideslope out at ORD?”
And he said, “ok.”
And I said, “you are a hacker and I am reporting you to fb.”
And he said, “I am the Craig which you know.”
Now, the Craig which I know may have been the product of Chicago Public Schools, but, surprisingly, his command of the English language is rather good. And I’m pretty sure he hasn’t spent an inordinately long amount of time in Eastern Europe recently, which would cause his English to degrade to such a level.
So I asked him, “How long is 28L?” which is a trick question because 28L isn’t finished yet. And he replied, “you just call me a hacker and am not happy.”
So I reported him to Facebook and to my real friend Craig and then blocked him. I hope Craig the Imposter gets into some sort of Facebook trouble, like sent to hacker jail or Candy Crushed or buried six-feet under in Farmville. And as for my real friend, Craig, I hope he’s happy I figured this out for him so quickly. On second thought, I really don’t care how he feels about it.
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