The Rules of the Road: A City Mom gets the "RIGHT" of way!

The Rules of the Road: A City Mom gets the "RIGHT" of way!
Jose M. Osorio, Chicago Tribune Photo

Like most people, I like being right. I only wish I were better at it. When driving in my car, I especially enjoy having the upper-hand of being right in my road-rage induced one-woman arguments with other drivers and that’s why it’s so cool to have two kids who just finished Driver’s Ed. They validate my knowledge of the Rules of the Road. (Mostly.)

It’s been a long time since my Driver’s Education class (and I won’t say how long exactly, because that could lead to someone finding out my exact age and stealing my identity, which would only be a good thing if it meant I could go on vacation.) and quite frankly, some of those Rules have slipped by the wayside, or onto the shoulder (!) I should say. So, it’s helpful to have two sixteen-year-old boys who’ve yet to get behind the wheel of a car, ever, to let me know the correct way to drive.

Actually, they’ve been very cool and not mister-know-it-all-smarty-pantses about it. I only say this because I’ve been applauded for things like stopping before the sidewalk as I exit the alley (And don’t honk. That’s just a rude urban myth invented by suburbanites.) and for turning into the close lane when making a left-hand turn onto a multiple lane road for example.

I can ask them, “What’s the rule when you’re making a left-hand turn at a stop sign, when both cars get there at the same time?”

“The car making the left needs to yield to the car going straight,” one of them will reply.

“Unlike that f%&*-ing a@#-clown that just cut me off?”

“Correct.”

It’s so helpful to have a fresh knowledge of the Rules of the Road right at my finger-tips when I’m in the car, without having to use Google when I’m at a red light. As a public service, A City Mom is now going to give you a little quiz on the rules of the road, just in case you don’t have two helpful teenagers in your car at all times.

 

1) Your driving privileges will be SUSPENDED in the State of Illinois if you are convicted of failing to stop for a school bus loading or unloading children as required by law:

a) TRUE   b) FALSE

2) Your driving privileges will be severely limited due to a broken spine after A City Mom gets done with you for failing to pay attention when you drop off your precious snowflake at Kiss ‘N Go and nearly run over MY daughter, the school’s Kiss ‘N Go helper, because you were too busy talking on your godamned phone, texting, drinking coffee, or picking your yoga pants out of your crack:

a) TRUE   b) FALSE

3) When more than one driver reaches a four-way stop intersection, the first driver to stop should be the first to go:

a) TRUE   b) FALSE

4) When more than one driver reaches a four-way stop intersection, the driver that is not A City Mom should just go on ahead first regardless of the fact that A City Mom was there first, because you are clearly much more important or much more in a hurry or much more of a colossal dick-weed:

a) TRUE   b) FALSE

5) A person may not text while operating a motor vehicle on a roadway unless he/she is parked on the shoulder of a roadway or stopped due to traffic and the vehicle is in park or neutral:

a) TRUE   b) FALSE

6) A person may not text while operating a motor vehicle on a roadway unless he/she is on the Kennedy outbound to the airport and the traffic is really, really bad so A City Mom can watch in astonishment while she waits for the Blue Line, or if you are behind her on any city street so she can freak-out every time she watches you put your head down into the glow of your phone while all the while your SUV is barreling down at her and her precious snowflakes.

a) TRUE   b) FALSE

 

I try to explain to my sons the world of driving is a much different place than when I was learning. People on the road today are not paying attention any more. Well, not paying attention to driving that is. It’s so much more dangerous. It seems like every time I venture out in the car I find some sort of adventure, which is why we haven’t  been particularly encouraging them to sign-up for their “range class”, the part of Driver’s Ed where they actually do get behind the wheel of a car. Like I need one more thing to worry about in this day and— Sorry, gotta go. The light just turned green.

Thank you for reading A City Mom!!  If you Like my A City Mom page on Facebook here and/or following me on Twitter @acitymom, I promise to wave you on ahead at the next four-way stop.  As always, thank you very much for the Likes and follows.

 

Filed under: Chicago, Driving, Parent, Teenagers, Twins

Leave a comment