Hostess Twinkies: Don’t Go!

Hostess Twinkies: Don’t Go!

It’s impossible for me to imagine life without Twinkies! I’m already craving them and I haven’t had one in over a year. (I am not pregnant!) And fruit pies. I’m craving Hostess Cherry fruit pies with that waxy sugar coating. Hostess Please don’t go!

The Twinkie is a part of my life! My childhood! My very being (probably literally--they never disintegrate, see below)! They just cannot disappear. They are the iconic American snack! (for better or worse, and everything that says about America.)

I even tried incorporating the legend of the Twinkie into my children's lives. When my sons were five and celebrating their birthday at school, I asked them what they wanted to bring for their treat. “Twinkies!” was the resounding answer. Other than the fact I had to admit to the other parents that I’d fed my five-year-old sons Twinkies, I thought, “Well, this couldn’t be easier.” I caught quite a few amused grins from the teachers as we stuck a couple of candles into their treats, but a lot of hairy eyeballs from the other moms, for the simple fact I’d turned their child to the dark side. You know--the evil Hostess Twinkies and Wonder Bread side. “Where do you even buy a Twinkie?” one of the other Moms said. Not at “Whole Paycheck” is what I wanted to quip. But I’d already done enough damage for one day.

When we first moved to the city, someone in our Lakeview neighborhood taped a Twinkie to a lamppost on the corner of Cornelia and Reta. That Twinkie made it through an entire Chicago winter intact. And while I appreciate and love the urban science-fair-experiment-y-ness of this, its indestructability in no way swayed my love of that fake cream-filled wonder. Not one bit.

While I stop short of advocating a government bail-out of my beloved snack, (Seriously, Mr. President, that’s silly. That would be socialism. And don’t you have a fiscal cliff to be worrying about?) but I just may be stockpiling boxes and boxes in my basement, for when the dark—no Hostess Wonder Bread, Twinkies or fruit pies—times come. All this is just sad. As my friend, we'll call him "Amir" put it, "Hostess, the makers of Twinkies, and other stoner's delights, is liquidating just after Washington and Colorado pass marijuana legalization laws. Talk about terrible timing..."

Whenever the  Hostess company would liquidate, it would always be terrible timing for me. RIP, Hostess Twinkie.

Thank you for reading A City Mom! If you will weep racking tears of sorrow for the loss of the beloved Twinkie, you may find you can assuage your grief by Liking me on Facebook here and/or following me on Twitter @acitymom.

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