Guest Post, Patrick O'Hara: Songs We Lose in the Break Up

One sad reality of a break up, perhaps the biggest loss of them all is the music.  The songs you listened to together, the ones that remind you of love.  The songs you sang because that person made you feel like singing.  The first song you heard when you kissed, the first one when you know what happened.

Then comes the break up.  Now those songs are unlistenable.  They make you sad, they lost their meaning perhaps forever.

In a past life I was married and I got to pick the song we would share our first married dance to.  It was a song called “Everything” by a small band name The Rockfords, no relation to the city in Illinois.  I loved that song.  It was a beautiful song about being everything to that somebody who wanted it.  It was how I felt at that point with my wife.  Only until recently could I listen to it again without punching the air and cursing her name.

There are many songs that remind me of exes and each loses their loveliness with each rejection.  I cannot lose those songs forever, so I let them mellow a bit.  I know one day I can listen to them again.

How do I get there?  What do I do?  The easiest way is to realize that those songs were not written for us, they were about someone else in a different world.  They are still just as beautiful as they were the first time you heard them.  It is too much pressure to put on a song to define your relationship.  I am not a bitter ex, I can look fondly upon most of my exes.  They are all good women just as I am a good guy, sometimes forever does not last.  The songs always will though.

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