A decision I regret.

I wrestle with what I want to write about sometimes.  As a comedian I feel like everything I post should be funny, but then there is a real and human side to me as well.  The funny escapes every now and then but sometimes I just need to have a voice.

This is one of those times.

As I mentioned in a previous post I was diagnosed with testicular cancer at the age of 21.  This is a lot for a 21 year old to deal with.  Then the doctors told me that I would not be able to have children after the testicle was removed.  They gave me the option of freezing my swimmers, but at the time I was thinking about dying from cancer, not that I was going to but what did I know.  Now I have to think about kids?

I never had a serious girlfriend at that point and at that time the last thing I was thinking about was kids.  So I selfishly and stupidly declined.

I live with that decision every day now.  I also get to see people treat their children like play things, like an endless kid conveyor.  I see bad parents all the time.  The irresponsible sort and I sometimes think, they do not deserve children.  They do not really know what it means.  They do not have to worry about the possibility of not having a child.

Why can’t kids wait to have kids?  Why not wait until you find the one and then have kids.  This is coming from someone who will never have that chance.  It is awful to see a story about a mother or father who kills their kids, I have so much love in my heart.  No I have not found the one yet but one day I will but will she be okay with my lack of kid giving strength?

I know I can adopt and I am fine with that.  I like kids, they are cool and funny.  So I will adopt at some point and be a great father.

I also want to point out that I know a lot of wonderful moms, single and married.  So this is not an attack on moms everywhere, only the irresponsible sort.  Do not get me started on deadbeat fathers either, there is a special place in hell for them.  I am sorry for my angst in this post.  Sometimes it feels good to get it all out.

Filed under: Uncategorized

Tags: Cancer, decisions, kids


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  • I'm sorry, Patrick! That is really scary what you went through. I'm sure when you settle down and get married, it won't be an issue. Even easier than adopting would be using donor sperm. I know it's not the same, but maybe you can get a brother or a cousin to, um, pitch in?

    Good luck! You'll be a great father some day!

  • Thanks jenna, I wish I could slap sense into 21 year old me or give him a pep talk he was nsive

  • 10 months after I started dating my husband, he was diagnosed with testicular cancer, which required surgery. We, too, were worried about how this would affect our ability to have kids. His doc said that there was a 95% chance we could still have kids and guess what - he was right. 2 years later our son was born. How sure was this doc when he told you you could never have kids?

  • thanks for reading guys

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