My regularly scheduled Wednesday guest-blogger, Suburban Dad Rick Kaempfer, is taking a leave of absence for the summer. He says, “The kids are all home from school. I’ve got a new publishing company to run." Blah, blah, blah. But since he’s my publisher, too, we’ll cut him some slack and give him the summer off.
In his stead, I have enlisted the services of fellow ChicagoNow blogger, Patrick O’Hara of Bad Diabetic. Patrick’s been looking to branch out with his blogging; I needed some summer help. The perfect synergy. (Patrick is also a stand-up comic who studied at Second City! How excited are we to have him?) Please give a warm A City Mom welcome to my new Wednesday guest blogger, Patrick O’Hara. (And don’t mention to Kaempfer how quickly he was replaced.)
By Patrick O’Hara
Men and women, I have a plea. Let us be good to each other, love is not a word to be taken lightly. It should be written in capital letters. It should be said with pride, it should be the gift for which the only equal is loving back.
If we do love each other why do we treat each other so terribly? I am speaking of the love between a man and a woman. What I am getting at is that we should not let our pasts affect the present. Use the past as a learning experience, not as an expectation of things to come. Nice people should not have to beat back your past. You love who you are with because of what they bring to the table.
It is a shame when a perfect love is brought down by the mistakes of others. Let the past be the past and treat each relationship differently. No relationship is without its bumps along the way but the way we bounce back is the true measure.
Look at the scope of things. Do not forget the hurt but also take the time to remember the remarkable unexpected moments that made your heart swell. The things that you think about before you close your eyes at night. The things that make you want to turn the radio up when a love song plays.
I am a hopeless romantic, sometimes I feel like true romance is hopeless. Then I see love, I see it in the couple that just got married and cannot stop looking at each other and giggle about something only the two of them know. I see it in the couple married for 60 years and still love each other just as much as they did 60 years ago.
Becoming jaded by love is cheating yourself. Love is great, you shouldn’t swear it off because of the bad experiences. A love of a lifetime will defeat the feelings left by a diseased love. Leave yourself open to the thought of a great love. In the end you will be happy you did. I am not jaded I still know I will find love and when I do it will be worth all of the muck.
I know love is real, I know it because I have felt it. Going to every length to make sure that person you are with never has a reason to be sad. I am sad to say I have failed at that. We are not a perfect species, we have faults. In the end when you find "the one" you become perfectly together.
So if you love someone, love them for today and love them for the future. Love them for the past they gave you that lead you here. We all have bad experiences but we are cheating ourselves if we do not open ourselves up to vulnerability. Yes, it could hurt you but the life of happiness is worth the risk.
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