A Suburban Dad's Guest Blog: Political Advertising Season

By Rick Kaempfer

Thanks to the Supreme Court Citizen's United decision, experts say we're due for more political advertising this year than ever before. When you are bombarded by constant political advertising it doesn't take long for that to infect every part of society. Discussions like these will soon be commonplace...

In a couple’s master bathroom

Man: Honey, can you hand me the toothpaste?

Woman: Ray Miller is always looking for a handout.

Man: What? I just want to brush my teeth.

Woman: Ray Miller. Wrong for America. Wrong for my toothpaste.

In a child’s bedroom

Son: Mom, can I play on my DS?

Mom: Have you finished your math homework?

Son: My opponent, Mrs. Nosenfunk, thinks that the only way to solve a problem, is to study it forever. The American people want action, not constant study.

Mom: Try this action…do your homework.

In traffic

Wife: This lane is unsustainable. It ends in 1000 feet.

Husband: I'll happily switch lanes, but only if you agree to let me have a lawn mowing service and real Oreos, not those generic imitation ones.

Wife: My opponent clearly doesn't care about the impending structural doom of this car and it's inhabitants.

Husband: Ha! My opponent is the one that doesn't care, because she doesn't appreciate her finely manicured lawn has come from my blood, sweat, and tears for the past 22 years, and all I want is a little help before I have a heart attack out there. And some real damn Oreos.

Wife: Then I guess this car is going to crash, because real Oreos are an extravagance that we simply can't afford at this time.

In the family room

Daughter: Dad, can you flip it to MTV?

Dad: The Cubs game is on.

Daughter: Aren’t you tired of the same old empty promises?

Dad: Um…

Daughter: This year when you hold the remote, hold it accountable. It’s time for a change.

Dad: I’m not giving you the remote.

At the dinner table

Mom: Eat your vegetables.

Son: The vegetable mandate is unconstitutional.

Mom: It's broccoli. It won't kill you.

Son: It will kill my freedom.

Mom: That can be arranged.

Get ready for a bumpy ride. The political season has just begun.

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