This is how I spent my weekend. Not prepping for the Super Bowl. Not taking care of errands. I spent my entire weekend trying to send one mass email about my upcoming book launch party. [You're all invited, too, BTW!] And still, I dicked it all up.
I’ll be the first to admit I’m a techno-idiot. First, I had a hard time getting the graphic of my cover to appear in the body of the email and I didn’t want to send it as an attachment because I know how people are about opening attachments. Plus I was sending it to a lot of people I don’t normally communicate with (like people who bought my last book) and they may not recognize my name, unless they put my last book to good use by employing it as a doorstop where they could see it every day.
Then I merged all three of my address books. Long story short, my Apple Address Book now contains all 1752 of my contacts and even though it’s supposed to get rid of duplicates, it didn’t. Then it wouldn’t let me create a list to send to. Anyway, longer story shorter, I couldn’t send one email blast to the 300 people I chose to send invites to. Apparently, my webmail account thought I was spamming people. (If only the ass clowns that send me emails for Best-Penis Max-Gentlemen Enlargement Pills had this spam feature on their computer!) So I sent three separate emails to about 100 people each. Then my graphics didn’t load in one of them. After I cleaned up the tufts of hair I’d pulled from my head, I resent it with graphics.
Unfortunately, I did end up spamming some people with three emails about the party. Most of my friends, family and acquaintances were pretty cool about it. They know I’m technologically challenged. But one guy, my son’s former soccer coach, was pissed. After the first email, he sent me an email that said only this “Remove me”. Then, right away, he sent the same message again. Then he sent me an email that said, “3 emails from Kim today. Remove me please.”
The smart ass in me wanted to write him back and say, “What a coincidence! I’ve received three emails from Mr. Soccer Coach today as well!”
I hate getting spammed, too, so I feel his pain. I did write him a letter apologizing. (4 emails from Kim today!!) and removed him from my address book and blocked him on Facebook. It’s weird though. He’s written some books and owns a PR firm. I would’ve hoped of all people he would’ve understood. Plus he was a good soccer coach and a really nice guy, you know, in that stand-offish, I’m-so-much-better-than-you kind of way.
I was so upset by his response though, the last 100 people on the list never got an email with graphics at all because I’m too scared to send it out again. So, if you're not on my email list, be grateful. If you are, I'm so sorry. Regardless, come to the party! (Unless you're a soccer coach who gets mad when you get party invitations.)
This morning my editor and friend, Rick Kaempfer, sent an email that made it all better. Last night I asked him how many emails he received. His reply? “I only got it once, but as a former soccer coach, I can tell you that it still pissed me off. :) “
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Two things here:
(1) The behind the scenes of e-mail is generally incomprehensible. For instance, after some e-mail containing actual work did not go through, I decided to bcc some secondary accounts I have. Sometimes the e-mail shows up there in microseconds, sometimes it never does, and then I presume it was not delivered to the intended recipient.
(2) With regard to mass mailings, one merchant recently had an offer where one would get a free milkshake for answering a survey, which contained a request for an e-mail address. They then sent out a mass mailing, I guess using this kind of software, but put everyone's address in the "to" instead of "bcc" field. Then they sent out a follow-up e-mail apologizing for having disclosed everyone's e-mail address, like those of us who hadn't figured that out already wouldn't have figured it out from the apology.
I'm not soliciting business for companies like Constant Contact, but I can see how maybe they provide a service.
And, in the case of spam, I find it sometimes useful to threaten senders with Section 7704 of the CAN-SPAM Act. At least the Tribune got that message, although people with .ru domains don't.
Thanks for reading, jack, and for the comment! And Iike the sound of "Section 7704"!
I spent yesterday learning my way around Mail Chimp so I can get ready to do what you just described. Email marketing scares the crap out of me.
Oh, no. Mail Chimp? There goes my Thursday....