In a motherly moment of guilt and mercy, I picked my sons up at their bus stop Wednesday, sparing them a four-block walk home in the pouring down rain. I don’t like that they have to walk to and from the bus stop in the dark, much less in the weather, but I take solace in the fact that there are two of them, they’re both over six-feet tall and they’re both black belts in Taekwondo. Little did I know, it’s the bus ride itself I should be worrying about.
As a bit of a public transportation aficionado myself, I’ve noticed there’s a marked difference between “bus people” and “El people”. How shall I put this nicely? Let’s see…How about, “the bus people are weirder.” Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of weirdoes on the El too, but it seems in general, the ratio is higher on the bus and I think I just blocked this fact because even though my sons are almost grown, they’re still my babies and I’m their mother and it’s my job to worry about them having to be around too many weirdoes, that free trial day at Gymboree notwithstanding.
While riding the bus, I’ve had a woman in fake military fatigues berate me for taking out my iPod because, I never know what might happen if one of the Germans saw it. I had an elderly Asian man open a photo book and tell me his life story while showing me pictures. Apparently, on the bus my boys take, there are quite a few regulars. A couple of homeless guys. One guy who always sits at the back of the bus with his hand inside his jacket. Earlier this year, I was impressed with their street smarts when one bus weirdo guy began acting erratically and threateningly and they got off at the next stop. In some ways, the bus is good for them, because they are developing their street smarts. Plus it makes my hormonal mood swings look down right innocuous.
So on Wednesday’s rainy ride home, when some dork pulled right in front of me and I quietly pronounced, almost in a whisper, what a silly-billy nut he was, my son Kyle asked me if I’d ever encountered anyone on the road that I thought was truly insane. I thought about it for a while, figured it would be wise to exclude myself, and had to answer, “Honestly, I don’t think so. I mean, I’ve seen some crazy behaviors, sure, but nothing I can recall that would indicate someone was really and truly insane.”
To which my son Ethan replied, “Of course not. They’re all on the bus.”
Filed under: Uncategorized