By Rick Kaempfer
Two of my college roommates were named Dave and Steve. These two guys were more than just roommates; they were soul mates. They spent every waking hour with each other, generally doing absolutely nothing. (Full disclosure: I was often hanging around doing the same thing).
Well, when two guys spend that much time together, a fair amount of razzing is sure to take place. Steve would often talk about "starting to work out" or "losing some weight" and Dave would mercilessly mock him for his amazing lack of will power.
Well, one day, Steve had had enough of Dave's constant razzing and blurted out: "I bet you $500 that I will weigh ten pounds less than you someday."
"By when?" Dave asked.
"Anytime between now and death."
Dave took one look at his buddy and roommate. Steve was probably twenty pounds heavier at the time. Dave factored in Steve's well documented lack of will power, smiled, and shook his hand.
"You're on. But if you ever call me out, and I'm not ten pounds heavier than you, you owe me $500."
That was twenty five years ago, and the two of them have seen each other many times since then even though Steve lives in the Champaign area, and Dave lives in Chicago. There have been a few close calls where Dave was packing on some pounds, or when Steve was losing some weight. Steve never felt confident enough to call out his friend, but the bet was often discussed and analyzed, and Dave did his fair share of taunting.
This past week Dave and I attended a wake for Steve's brother. It was a very sad and somber occasion, but it was great seeing Steve again. When we saw him, however, Dave got a little nervous right away. It was obvious that Steve had been working out. After thanking us for coming to the wake, Steve whispered in Dave's ear.
"Meet me in the parking lot," he said.
So, the three of us trudged out to Steve's car in the funeral home parking lot. He opened the trunk and pulled out a scale.
"Oh no," Dave said.
"Oh yes," Steve replied. He had a Snidely-Whiplash grin on his face.
As Dave was putting his first foot on the scale, Steve admitted that he is now doing 600 crunches every single day. Dave groaned.
Dave also wasn't happy with what he saw on the scale. He was about twenty pounds heavier than he was in college. When Steve saw the total on the scale, he started twirling his Snidely Whiplash mustache.
"You are going down," he said.
And boy did he. Steve weighed 27 pounds less than Dave.
They say that revenge isn't sweet, but you would have had a very hard time convincing Steve. He gobbled up that long-simmering revenge stew and then licked the bowl to make sure he consumed every last drop.
"I ain't payin' you $500," Dave said.
"I don't care about the money," Steve admitted. "I've already received my reward."