By Rick Kaempfer
First a disclaimer. This house is run by men and boys. My wife is gone during the day at work, so that leaves four completely slovenly males in charge of keeping the house clean; me (a 22 year old male...ok...47 year old male), and my sons Tommy (age 15), Johnny (age 13) and Sean (age 8).
But it's not like our house is never clean. In fact, we clean it every single week. We even have a name for it: Clean Up the House Day.
Without a strict adherence to this weekly policy, we'd be living in squalor.
When they're at school, I stop writing about noon, put on my iPod, and begin cleaning up the house (I'm using the male definition of "cleaning" by the way). By the time they come back from school, I've dusted, swept, mopped, vacuumed, watered the plants, cleaned the kitchen, thrown all of the stray toys and books onto their beds, and done several loads of laundry.
As soon as they walk in the door, they are handed a gigantic pile of clothes to put away, a swiffer, and a garbage bag, and they're expected to clean up their own rooms (again, I'm using the male definition of "clean").
If they finish early, that's fine, but they are absolutely forbidden from re-messing up any part of the house until their mother gets home. They've learned the hard way that this is a completely non-negotiable rule. After mom gets home, life can return to normal.
It isn't too much to ask to come home to a house that isn't disgusting at least one day a week, right? Even if she just sees the house clean for an hour or two, it seems to put a smile on her face.
Also, from a selfish point of view, after the weekend has started off with a "clean" house, then when the house starts to accumulate new piles of randomly strewn toys and books and crumbs and crap over the weekend-it's not all my fault. She was here too.
Plus, I don't have to hear her sighing and muttering the word "disgusting" under her breath all weekend long.
So, if you stop by on a Friday, any time after 5 and before say 8 or so is fine. If you stop by on a Thursday, even if all the lights are on and you can see us inside the house, we're not home.
It's for your own good.
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Tags: A Suburban Dad, Clean Up the House Day, guest blog, men cleaning, Rick Kaempfer, Slovenly men
