Dominick's, would you please target your market? Every time I hear your
radio ads with that twenty year-old California girl doing the
voice-over, I want to turn off my radio.
I mean what were you thinking? I'm a middle-aged Chicago woman. A
Chicago native. I do just about all of my family's grocery shopping. (If
I don't say "just about" and mention that once or twice a year my
husband does go to then store, then he'll never do it again, which would
be terrible, because then what would we do for Beef Jerky?) Do you
really think I want to hear some California valley girl tell me in
bubbly Southern California-speak how great your vegetables are? How
fresh your values are? Like, I'm so sure. It's like having Bill and
Ted's little sister give me advice on my middle-aged mundane world. What does she know about Ingredients for Life? As
This woman's voice grates on my nerves like salt in coffee. To be fair, I should admit her voice really isn't that terrible as far as voice-over talent goes. It would be perfect for, say, selling surf boards. And I know Dominick's was bought by Safeway, which is a California company and so, I guess, in these harsh economic times you want to consolidate your commercial voice-over talent and have her do all of your radio ads at the same time, you know, while she's there. But seriously. Couldn't you have found someone with a neutral accent? A Midwestern accent? Say, what about a Chicago accent? I could do da spots for ya. "Tanks for shoppin' aht (I'll draw out the "a" sound and make it all nasally) D"ah"minick's." Better yet, call over to WXRT and get the "Regular Guy." Even if his thick Chicago accent might annoy some people, at least you can tell from his voice he's actually old enough to buy his own groceries.
Jewel had the sense a while back to hire Patricia Heaton to do their ads. I don't know if she actually slogs up and down a grocery store aisle several times a week, but at least she played someone who did on TV.
So, in protest of Dominick's ridiculous radio ads, this curmudgeon of a mom is going to boycott them until they change. And with the way my kids eat, you know they're going to feel it in their bottom line.
When you've had enough of this fiscal pain, Dominick's, you know where to find me. I'll be slogging up and down the aisles, buying my Ingredients for Life at da Jewels.