I'm sure many of you thought I was dead...well at least socially. But I, Shavon "Vonnie" Coleman, of 4-Star Explorer am very much still alive. I bet you didn't know every time a Chicago team wins a championship, a CN blogger gets their wings. As a true red, White Soxs, blue and Blackhawks Chicagoan, I usually have disdain for these sorts of "count-downesque" sports related blog posts. Though, still being very much a slave to SEO ratings, I find myself jumping on such a heavily crowded vehicle of fair-weather fans even CTA would be panicked. (Especially with the Red Line all out of sorts.) But alas, here I am giving you the rundown of 5 (non game-related) things I learned from this year's Stanley Cup Championship.
1. The NHL has now found a wonderful job opportunity for unskilled, uneducated workers. Referreeing!
From controversial calls to blatant unjustifiable reneging of points, referees have been the bane of the true fan's existence. I'm told...that during the scripted exchange know as the Spurs vs. Heat game series it was clear to see owners' greed towards ticket sales were screwing game goers. It makes you wonder just whose payroll officials are on.
2. Hockey has Periods and not Quarters (Who knew?)
Now I'm not new to the rodeo. I've been through nail-biting quarters tossing the pigskin. I've faltered through extra innings. I've even browbeat through second halves. But when I sat down at the bar with co-worker, Greg Spadoni, and asked what quarter we were in, he turned to me and said "C'mon Coleman. They have periods, not quarters. Remember, you can't have just three parts of a quarter." Yay math!
3. Chicago really needs to do a better job at Curfew Control
Seriously, we're all aware of the escalating death tolls of Chicago's teenage population and I'm starting to see why. On any given night of one of the Hawks games, I sauntered into my apartment at hours even a nightwatchman would blush at, only to be welcomed by the sounds of what I assume are the fatherless youths of the city. Hanging 'til 2 in the morning...CPD please start writing these children, or rather these children's parents, some citations and maybe then we'll have the money to fund some these teacher pension payments, but that's a whole other issue.
4. Dragging a sport out into 5 or more games is a sure way to draw out the "Wagon Riders"
You know who you are, just admit it! At Game 1, most of you couldn't even pronounce Toews. At Game 3, you headed to the nearest unofficial sports paraphernalia stand and bought a jersey. And by Game 6, you were practically on your way to buy "BlackHawks Forever" tattoos. And boy did I enjoy all the grandstanding "stan" (super fans) speeches via any applicable social media.
5. Beer Makes Every Game Awesome
Whether the alcohol is simultaneously drowning out your hearing while raising your speaking volume, or you're just laying back watching the tube with a brew, the smooth but fizzy hops-filled substance is always the perfect companion to any sporting event. But remember, there's always a line to draw when consuming...and I'm pretty sure it happens right before any proposed physical contests. So heed the old adage and drink responsibly.
So what lessons has this momentous honor known as the Stanley Cup taught you over the last few weeks? Feel free to share below in Comments Section and if you're so inclined, subscribe to the blog, though I promise you nothing more than snappy commentary.
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